Alex Jones: What Happens When You Kill All But 5 Braincells Left in Your Brain

There's a special place in the pantheon of American lunacy reserved for Alex Jones. The InfoWars founder and professional conspiracy peddler has made a career out of spewing such weapons-grade bullshit that it's honestly impressive his tongue hasn't fallen out in protest. For years, this human megaphone has assaulted our collective intelligence with claims so fucking absurd they make flat-earthers look like MENSA candidates.

I've spent countless hours—hours I'll never get back—diving into the cesspool of Jones's "content" to compile this list of his most ridiculous claims. This isn't just garden-variety nonsense; this is advanced, industrial-strength delusion that deserves to be cataloged, if only as a warning to future generations about what happens when you combine amphetamines, paranoia, and a broadcasting license.

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