Climate Change is Fucking the Housing Market

Without any Lube

Let’s cut the crap: climate change is fucking with everything, and the housing market is no exception. Whether you’re a buyer, a seller, or just someone trying to keep a roof over your head, you’ve probably noticed shit getting more complicated. Rising sea levels, wildfires, hurricanes, and extreme weather are reshaping where and how we live. And guess what? It’s only going to get worse.

The Real Estate Market is Melting (Literally)

First off, let’s talk about the obvious shit: rising sea levels. If you’ve got dreams of a beach house, you might want to rethink that. Coastal properties are taking a massive hit as oceans creep further inland. And we’re not just talking about the odd flood here and there—entire neighborhoods are at risk of becoming underwater ghost towns. Florida, anyone? Miami real estate is already on thin fucking ice (pun intended), with buyers and insurers getting skittish about sinking investments.

But wait, there’s more! Wildfires are torching communities across the W…