Dept Of Government Efficiency: You Cant Have Keys to the Castle, Dumbshits

In the latest chapter of America's ongoing privacy nightmare, a federal judge has finally put a leash—albeit a flimsy one—on the administration's dystopian Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE). If you haven't been paying attention to this Orwellian clusterfuck, let me catch you up: DOGE is essentially the government's newest attempt to gaslight Americans into believing that harvesting our most intimate personal data is somehow for our own damn good.

Judge Deborah Boardman deserves a slow clap for the bare minimum judicial oversight when she ruled that the Department of Education and Office of Personnel Management cannot hand over the personal identifying information of six individual plaintiffs and members of five union organizations to DOGE's data-hungry maw. But let's not break out the champagne just yet. This ruling—which protects approximately two million people—is just a goddamn band-aid on a gushing arterial wound to American privacy.