Elon Musk's DOGE: A Bunch of Fucking Inexperienced Teenagers and Their Daddy, Elon MuskFuck

The shit has officially hit the fan at the Office of Personnel Management (OPM), where Elon Musk's DOGE team – a bunch of barely-out-of-college tech bros – have been granted sweeping access to sensitive federal employee data. This catastrophic lapse in judgment has put millions of federal workers' personal information in the hands of what essentially amounts to a frat house with administrative privileges.

The Kids Running the Henhouse

In what can only be described as a monumental ass-tit screwup, DOGE team members, most between 19 and 25 years old, have been given broad administrative access to OPM's computer systems. Let that sink in – people who can't even legally buy a beer in some states are now handling sensitive government data. The crown jewel of this clusterfuck? A 19-year-old "expert" with access to systems containing millions of federal workers' personal information.