GOP FuckWads: What Happens When the Sitting ShitWaste President Kills People?

You know what really grinds my gears: How the so-called "party of individual responsibility" turns into a fucking hive mind of enablers the second one of their own starts dropping bombs on foreign countries.

---

Want to know what Republicans do when they have their grubby little hands on the levers of power? Sit your ass down and prepare for a journey through 100 years of the most predictable, soul-crushing political behavior you've ever witnessed. This isn't just partisan bullshit—this is documented, historical pattern recognition that'll make your fucking skin crawl with its consistency.

The Reagan Revolution: When War Became a Goddamn Religion

Let's start with the patron saint of modern Republican cocksucking: Ronald fucking Reagan. Reagan championed a rearmed and strong military and was especially supportive of the MX missile system and the Strategic Defense Initiative, but here's where it gets absolutely nauseating—when Reagan was launching his military adventures, Republicans didn't just support him; they worshipped the ground he walked on like he was some kind of wartime Jesus.

Reagan's foreign policy focused on preventing communist expansion worldwide, including strong financial and military support of the Contras against the communist Nicaraguan government, aid to El Salvador's fight against communist guerrillas, the U.S. invasion of Grenada in 1983, support for UNITA anti-communist fighters in the Angolan Civil War, and support for rebels fighting Soviet troops in Afghanistan. This cocktail of military interventions was called "The Reagan Doctrine," which sounds noble until you realize it was just a fancy name for fucking around in everyone else's backyard.

And what did Republicans do? They lined up like good little soldiers and saluted every goddamn flag Reagan waved. Reagan's charisma and speaking skills helped him frame conservatism as an optimistic, forward-looking vision for the country, and the party ate it up like hungry dogs at a meat processing plant. No questions asked, no moral qualms voiced—just pure, unadulterated loyalty to the military-industrial complex.

The most stomach-churning part? The 1983 invasion of Grenada enjoyed public support in the United States despite being criticized internationally, with the United Nations General Assembly voting to censure the American government. Republicans didn't give a flying fuck about international law or global opinion—they were too busy getting hard-ons from watching Reagan flex American military muscle.

The Bush Dynasty: Generational War-Mongering Excellence

Fast-forward to George H.W. Bush, and the pattern becomes so fucking obvious you'd have to be lobotomized not to see it. President George H.W. Bush led the international coalition that liberated Kuwait from Iraqi occupation in 1991 during the First Persian Gulf War. Republicans rallied around this conflict like moths to a flame that burns at 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit.

But here's where Republican psychology gets really twisted: they don't just support these wars—they become emotionally invested in them. The Gulf War wasn't just a military operation; it became a fucking identity marker for the party. Success in war equals moral righteousness, and moral righteousness equals political capital that can be spent on anything from tax cuts to deregulation.

Then came George W. Bush, and holy shit, did Republicans show their true colors. President George W. Bush launched the Iraq War in 2003 based on claims that Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction and had ties to terrorist organizations. This decision remains controversial, but you know what isn't controversial? The lockstep Republican support that made it possible.

Polling done by CBS News on the ten-year anniversary of the U.S. invasion found that Republicans, by a margin of 61%, believed that the military action was the right thing to do, with majorities of Democrats and independents disagreeing. Even a fucking decade later, when it was crystal clear that the whole WMD thing was bullshit, Republicans were still defending that clusterfuck of a war.

The Psychology of Republican War Fever

Here's the philosophical mind-fuck that explains Republican behavior: they conflate military action with moral authority. It's not just about defeating enemies; it's about proving that America—and by extension, the Republican Party—is righteous, powerful, and blessed by God himself. This creates a psychological feedback loop where questioning war becomes equivalent to questioning America, which becomes equivalent to questioning God.

Republicans usually favor increased military spending, strong national defense, and unilateral action, but it goes deeper than policy preferences. Military action becomes a kind of sacrament for Republicans—a holy ritual that cleanses the party of any doubts about its moral superiority.

When a Republican president orders military strikes, the party doesn't see soldiers dying in foreign countries; they see American values being exported at the barrel of a gun. They don't see civilian casualties; they see the necessary sacrifices required to maintain global order. It's not just cognitive dissonance—it's willful blindness wrapped in patriotic rhetoric and served with a side of Jesus.

The Enablement Machine: How Republicans Circle the Wagons

But the most disgusting part isn't the war-mongering itself—it's how Republicans systematically shut down any internal dissent. When facing military interventions during their own presidencies, Republicans demonstrate remarkable party unity, creating an atmosphere where questioning the president's military decisions becomes tantamount to treason.

This isn't accidental; it's a deliberate strategy. Republicans understand that successful wars create political capital, while unsuccessful ones destroy it. So they create an environment where their presidents can't fail because the party won't allow criticism that might lead to failure. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy of support that insulates Republican war presidents from the kind of scrutiny that might prevent disasters.

The Republican Party has historically used lies to promote conflict globally, protect conservative agendas, and maintain their hold on power. This pattern of deception gets normalized when Republicans control the White House because the party becomes invested in defending not just the policy, but the lies that justified the policy.

What They'll Do With Donny McDumpstain's Iran Adventure

So what can we expect now that Turdalump Trump has initiated a full-scale attack on Iran? Based on 100 years of Republican behavior patterns, here's exactly what these spineless fucking enablers will do:

First, they'll rally around the flag with the enthusiasm of teenagers discovering pornography for the first time. Every Republican from the lowliest county commissioner to the most senior senator will start parroting the same talking points about "American strength" and "deterring aggression." They'll frame criticism of the Iran strikes as unpatriotic, un-American, and probably socialist.

Second, they'll start manufacturing post-hoc justifications for whatever clusterfuck emerges from the bombing. If Iran retaliates and American soldiers die, Republicans will blame Iran for "escalating." If the strikes fail to achieve their objectives, Republicans will argue that more strikes are needed. If the strikes succeed in destroying Iranian capabilities, Republicans will claim vindication for their unwavering support.

Third, they'll create a information bubble where questioning the Iran strikes becomes impossible. Fox News, right-wing radio, and social media will be flooded with content that portrays any criticism as weakness, any diplomacy as appeasement, and any calls for de-escalation as surrender. They'll trot out retired generals, defense contractors, and think tank warmongers to provide "expert" analysis that just happens to align perfectly with whatever Trump's McDonald's-addled brain wants to hear.

Fourth, they'll use the Iran conflict to justify domestic political priorities that have nothing to do with foreign policy. Military spending will need to increase, civil liberties will need to be curtailed, and any social programs will need to be cut to fund the war effort. The Iran strikes will become the excuse for every authoritarian wet dream Republicans have harbored for decades.

Finally, they'll make the Iran war a litmus test for Republican loyalty. Any Republican who expresses doubts will be primaried by more extreme candidates. Any Republican who calls for restraint will be labeled a RINO (Republican In Name Only) and driven from the party. The Iran war will become not just policy, but doctrine—a sacred truth that cannot be questioned without risking excommunication from the Republican faith.

The Philosophical Horror of It All

The most nauseating aspect of Republican war-time behavior isn't the blood they're willing to spill—it's how they transform that blood into political capital. Every dead Iranian becomes proof of American resolve. Every escalation becomes evidence of strong leadership. Every diplomatic failure becomes justification for more military action.

This isn't just political calculation; it's moral alchemy. Republicans have perfected the art of turning human suffering into electoral advantage, and they do it with the kind of shameless efficiency that would make a mobster blush. They've created a political system where peace is weakness, diplomacy is surrender, and war is the only proof of moral seriousness.

The truly horrifying part? They actually believe their own bullshit. After decades of this behavior, Republicans have internalized the idea that military action equals moral authority. They're not just cynically manipulating public opinion; they're genuinely convinced that bombing other countries makes America—and themselves—righteous.

The Blood-Soaked Conclusion

So what do Republicans do when their president starts dropping bombs? They line up like good little fascists and applaud the carnage. They wrap themselves in flags and cross, speak in hushed tones about "necessary sacrifices," and pretend that turning foreign countries into rubble is somehow advancing the cause of freedom.

They've done it for Reagan in Grenada, for Bush Senior in Iraq, for Bush Junior in Iraq again and Afghanistan, and now they're doing it for Donny McFartsalot in Iran. The only thing that changes is the country getting bombed and the lies used to justify it.

Republicans don't just support war; they fetishize it. They don't just enable military aggression; they sanctify it. And they don't just defend their presidents' military decisions; they make those decisions part of their religious identity.

That's what Republicans do: they turn human suffering into political sacrament, and they do it with a smile on their faces and a prayer on their lips. They're not just complicit in America's military adventures—they're the fucking cheerleaders, coaches, and scorekeepers all rolled into one blood-soaked package.

And the most terrifying part? They're just getting started.