The Republican Party is once again proving that its greatest enemy has always been itself. The current disaster unfolding over the DOGE (Delivering Oversight and Government Efficiency) cuts is just the latest example of a party that couldn't organize a one-car funeral. As government shutdown looms on the horizon like an approaching hurricane, GOP lawmakers are busy throwing chairs at each other instead of actually governing. It's a shit show of epic proportions, and we all have front-row seats.
The Right-Wing Zealots Versus Reality
Let's get one thing straight: representatives like Eli Crane and Ralph Norman aren't "conservatives" in any meaningful sense of the word. They're ideological wrecking balls who've made their political careers out of saying "no" to everything while offering precisely jack shit in terms of workable alternatives. These Freedom Caucus extremists have drawn their line in the sand over DOGE cuts, particularly those targeting USAID, demanding they be included in any continuing resolution.
What's their grand vision? To slash foreign aid during global crises while patting themselves on the back for being "fiscally responsible." It's the political equivalent of canceling your home insurance while your house is on fire and calling it smart financial planning. These cuts aren't about efficiency—they're about ideological purity tests and Republican-on-Republican violence.
The Freedom Caucus crowd sees compromise as weakness, governance as surrender, and actual legislative accomplishment as betrayal. They're not interested in making government work better; they want to break it further and campaign on the wreckage. And now they've got their sights set on foreign aid, because apparently making America great again means telling the rest of the world to go fuck themselves.
Johnson's Spine Goes Missing: A Medical Mystery
Poor Speaker Mike Johnson. The man's spine has apparently been replaced with overcooked spaghetti. At first, he expressed doubts about including these cuts in what he called a "clean CR"—political speak for "let's just keep the government open without any major policy changes." That would have been the sensible approach. But sensible approaches don't play well with the foaming-at-the-mouth wing of his party.
So what does Johnson do? He wobbles, of course. Now he's suggesting that "some DOGE actions" could be reflected in the bill. What the hell does that even mean? It's classic Washington weasel-wording meant to sound like he's doing something without actually committing to anything specific. He's trying to have his cake and eat it too, but instead, he's going to end up wearing that cake all over his face.
Johnson is trapped in a political vise of his own party's making. On one side, he has the hard-right zealots who would gladly burn down the Capitol if it meant scoring points with their base. On the other side, he needs Democratic votes because—surprise!—you actually need majorities to pass legislation in a democracy. It's a position so precarious that even professional tightrope walkers are watching through their fingers.
The man has all the decisive leadership of a weathervane in a tornado. He changes direction more often than most people change their underwear. And with each flip-flop, he loses credibility with both sides. The hard right sees weakness. The Democrats see unreliability. And the American people see yet another example of why Congress has approval ratings that hover somewhere between root canals and cockroaches.
Democratic Bewilderment: Watching Republicans Self-Destruct
The Democrats, meanwhile, are watching this Republican civil war with a mixture of frustration and bewilderment. Rep. Rosa DeLauro, the ranking Democrat on the House Appropriations Committee, has expressed confusion about what the hell is actually being proposed. Join the club, Rosa. Nobody knows, including the Republicans themselves.
Democrats aren't innocent bystanders in Washington's dysfunction, but in this particular circular firing squad, they're at least standing outside the circle. They're looking at their Republican colleagues and wondering if they've all lost their damn minds. The answer, increasingly, appears to be yes.
From the Democratic perspective, this is government by chaos. There's no coherent policy vision, no clear legislative strategy, just a bunch of warring Republican factions trying to out-extreme each other. How do you negotiate with that? It's like trying to play chess with someone who keeps eating the pieces and claiming it's a valid move.
And the most infuriating part? Democrats know that when the government inevitably shuts down because Republicans can't get their shit together, both parties will get blamed. The nuances of which faction caused the problem will be lost on an American public that has grown wearily accustomed to Washington's perpetual dysfunction.
The Senate: Adults in the Room or Just Different Dysfunction?
Over in the supposedly more deliberative chamber, Senate Appropriations Committee Chair Susan Collins (R-Maine) has taken the radical position that maybe, just maybe, it's not a great idea to jam controversial spending cuts into a last-minute bill to keep the government's lights on. She's suggesting that the DOGE cuts should be considered for the FY 2026 process instead.
Collins represents what used to be called the "establishment" wing of the Republican Party—a species now nearly as endangered as the northern white rhino. Her position reflects a quaint notion that governance should involve planning, deliberation, and orderly processes rather than last-minute hostage-taking and ideological grandstanding.
But in today's GOP, Collins' breed of Republicanism is seen as practically treasonous. How dare she suggest that complex budgetary decisions should be made through regular order rather than crisis-driven brinksmanship? The nerve of suggesting that keeping the government open might be more important than scoring points with the base! In the eyes of the Freedom Caucus, Collins might as well be Bernie Sanders.
The Senate-House divide represents yet another fissure in a Republican Party that resembles a shattered mirror more than a unified political force. Each shard reflects a different vision of what the party should be, and they're all jagged edges threatening to draw blood.
The DOGE Cuts: Fiscal Responsibility or Performative Cruelty?
Let's talk about these DOGE cuts themselves. They're being sold as necessary measures to restore "fiscal responsibility" to a bloated federal government. It's the same song Republicans have been singing for decades, even as they blow up the deficit whenever they're in power.
The targeting of USAID is particularly telling. Foreign aid makes up less than 1% of the federal budget, but it's a favorite punching bag for right-wing politicians because it plays into an "America First" narrative that's more about nationalism than actual policy outcomes. Never mind that these programs often advance American interests abroad in ways that military intervention cannot. Never mind that humanitarian assistance helps prevent crises that would eventually require more expensive interventions. It's easy to demonize because the beneficiaries don't vote in American elections.
This isn't about saving money; it's about performance art for a base that's been fed a steady diet of isolationism and zero-sum thinking. It's about creating the illusion of tough choices without actually addressing the structural issues in American spending and taxation. It's about pretending that America can retreat from the world without consequences.
The DOGE cuts are a solution in search of a problem—or rather, a distraction from the real problems that neither party seems interested in honestly addressing.
The Shutdown Threat: Political Malpractice in Action
As this ridiculous drama plays out, the threat of a government shutdown grows larger by the day. Let's be crystal clear about what that means: essential workers forced to work without pay, government services disrupted, billions in economic activity lost, and America's reputation as a functioning democracy taking yet another hit on the international stage.
And for what? So some right-wing representatives can go back to their districts and brag about how they "stood up to the establishment"? So Speaker Johnson can cling to his gavel for a few more weeks before the next internal coup attempt? So Republicans can pretend they care about the deficit while simultaneously pushing tax cuts that would increase it?
A government shutdown isn't a sign of principled stands; it's evidence of political malpractice. It's what happens when zealotry trumps pragmatism, when performance replaces governance, and when politicians care more about their next primary than their country's well-being.
Previous shutdowns have cost the economy billions and accomplished precisely nothing in terms of long-term policy changes. They're the legislative equivalent of a toddler's tantrum—loud, disruptive, and ultimately futile.
The Bigger Picture: A Party at War With Itself
The DOGE fight is just a symptom of a much larger disease afflicting the Republican Party. This is a political organization that no longer agrees on what it stands for, how it should govern, or even whether governing should be its goal at all. It's a party where compromise is considered betrayal, where pragmatism is weakness, and where the most extreme voices command disproportionate power.
The party of Lincoln and Eisenhower has devolved into a chaotic mess of competing factions held together by little more than shared hatreds and cultural grievances. Traditional conservatives, Trump loyalists, Christian nationalists, libertarians, and various shades of populists are all fighting for control of the party's soul—assuming it still has one.
This ideological civil war makes actual governance nearly impossible. How do you develop coherent policy when your caucus can't even agree on basic principles? How do you negotiate with the other party when any compromise is seen as surrender by significant segments of your own?
The result is the kind of dysfunction we're seeing now: endless internal battles, leadership constantly looking over their shoulders, and the basic functions of government held hostage to intra-party squabbles.
The Democratic Opportunity: Capitalizing on Chaos
For Democrats, Republican disarray presents both an opportunity and a challenge. On one hand, it's easier to position yourself as the "adults in the room" when your opponents are behaving like sugar-hyped kindergartners fighting over toys. On the other hand, when governance itself breaks down, everyone in Washington gets blamed.
Democrats have a chance to present themselves as the party of stability and responsible governance—a stark contrast to Republican chaos. But to capitalize on this opportunity, they need to do more than just point and laugh at GOP dysfunction. They need to articulate a positive vision that addresses the legitimate concerns that drive voters toward Republican extremism in the first place.
The challenge for Democrats is to make the case that functional government can actually improve people's lives—a case that becomes harder to make with each shutdown, each legislative failure, and each example of Washington gridlock.
The American People: The Real Victims
Lost in all this political theater are the actual human beings whose lives are affected by government dysfunction. Federal workers who don't know if they'll get their next paycheck. Citizens who rely on government services that could be disrupted. Businesses that depend on regulatory certainty to make investment decisions.
The American people didn't elect representatives to engage in endless internal warfare. They elected them to address the very real challenges facing the country: economic insecurity, crumbling infrastructure, healthcare costs, climate change, and a host of other issues that affect daily lives.
Instead, they get this pathetic spectacle: a Republican Party too busy fighting itself to govern, a Democratic Party unable to advance solutions on its own, and a political system that seems increasingly incapable of rising to the moment.
Is it any wonder that trust in government is at historic lows? Is it surprising that cynicism and apathy are on the rise? When this is what passes for governance, disillusionment is the only rational response.
Conclusion: The Dysfunction Will Continue Until Morale Improves
As the DOGE fight continues and the shutdown clock ticks down, there are no heroes in this story—only varying degrees of culpability. Speaker Johnson will likely continue his high-wire act, trying to appease his right flank while preventing total government collapse. The Freedom Caucus will continue to make maximalist demands, secure in the knowledge that they won't be held responsible for the consequences. Senate Republicans will watch in horror as their House colleagues set fire to the party's brand yet again. And Democrats will alternate between outrage and opportunism as they navigate the chaos.
Meanwhile, the American people will once again be reminded that they're governed by institutions seemingly designed to fail, led by politicians who care more about the next news cycle than the next generation.
The DOGE cuts fight isn't an anomaly in American politics; it's the new normal. It's what happens when a major political party abandons governance in favor of permanent revolution against the very institutions it's supposed to lead.
Until voters demand better—not just in their rhetoric but in their voting patterns—this dysfunction will continue. The circular firing squad will keep reloading, and the American people will keep catching stray bullets.
Welcome to American democracy in the 21st century. It's a hell of a show, but a terrible way to run a country.
Citations
Schell, M & Brooks E. 2025 “GOP push for DOGE cuts inflames talks to prevent shutdown” The Hill.
Solomon A. 2025 “Congress needs to put DOGE in a time out” The Hill.
I’d love you to do a deep dive into the Republicans’ decision, back around 1970, to be the “party of principles,” as opposed to the party of objective reality, in order to distinguish themselves from the Dems and appeal to the Christian base.
Hmmm. A government shutdown in the midst of a trade war. That should work out well…