In the Trump Era: F*ck Toxic families and the Holidays
Because Im f*cking sick of them already....
So yeah, I’m heading into another Yule completely cut off from a side of my toxic, anti-LGBT family, and honestly? I don’t regret a damn thing about it. Sure, there’s some stuff I miss. Cutting them off means missing some key activities, parties and such. Do I still hold out hope that one day will come to terms and be happy and embracing? Hell no. I don’t miss them that much….
Holidays: Festive AF or Just More BS?
The holiday season can be a tough-as-hell time for people who’ve ditched toxic families. It’s even worse now because the U.S. is a hot mess after Trump’s 2024 win. This isn’t just about politics; it’s a full-on cultural divide. Families are getting torn apart over it. Gen Z and Millennials? Way less likely to back Trump compared to their older, conservative, white Evangelical relatives. Throw in the LGBTQ+ factor, and you’ve got a recipe for some seriously messed-up dynamics.
This year, even more LGBTQ+ folks feel betrayed by older generations and cis-het peers, especially as the political landscape feels less safe than ever. People who are usually against guns—LGBTQ+ folks, women—are now buying them because they’re scared of MAGA types. That tells you everything you need to know about how bad the tension is.
Religion + Bigotry = Holiday Hell
Here’s where it gets extra ugly: conservative religious families. Christmas, despite becoming more cultural than religious for many, still amps up all the God talk. So, if you’re queer and your relatives are the "save your soul" type, buckle up—it’s gonna be a bumpy ride. It’s worse if your family is into Trumpism. Some of these folks legit think he’s a savior sent by God, which makes arguing with them feel like debating a brick wall that also screams Bible verses at you.
Trump supporters with hardcore religious views have a way of making every family gathering feel like a damn battlefield. Ive got an Aunt and various cousins in my family who are like this. They’ll sit there at holiday dinners, mixing politics and faith into some twisted cocktail of righteousness, and act like they’re the ones with all the answers. Everything they believe, no matter how out there it is, gets slapped with a “divine mission” label. Trump’s nonsense? Holy work. Russian aggression? Oh, apparently, that’s part of God’s grand plan too. Try arguing with them—it’s like yelling at a brick wall, except the wall throws Bible verses and Fox News soundbites back at you. You’re never going to win, because disagreeing with them isn’t just about politics or values. No, to them, it’s like you’re disagreeing with God Himself. How the hell do you even begin to reason with that?
For LGBTQIA+ folks, this kind of environment is pure emotional hell. Picture this: you’re just trying to get through Christmas dinner, maybe snag a plate of mashed potatoes in peace, and then boom—here comes Uncle Bob or your overly righteous mom, ranting about how the world’s gone to shit because of "liberals" or "the gays." Add a sprinkle of Trump worship and a whole lot of sanctimony, and suddenly, the holiday season feels like a punishment instead of a celebration.
It’s not just awkward conversations; it’s deeper than that. It’s sitting there, knowing these people don’t really accept you, while they try to save your soul or convince you to change who you are. It’s their passive-aggressive comments, their not-so-subtle jabs, and their insistence that you’re the problem because you don’t fit into their perfect little mold. And if they’re feeling bold, they might even double down, justifying every hurtful thing they say or believe because “it’s in the Bible” or “Trump said it, so it must be right.” My dearest of friends has just such a family. Their sister calls them around this time of the year to connect. DECLINED!!! Because why deal with that toxicity and hatred?
For anyone stuck in that mess, it’s not just a shitty holiday dinner; it’s a reminder that the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally see you as something broken, something to fix. It’s exhausting, dehumanizing, and honestly, it’s the kind of thing that leaves scars. Family gatherings like that? They’re less about joy and connection and more like surviving a damn emotional Hunger Games. No one deserves that kind of holiday hell.
If You’re Supporting an Estranged Friend, Don’t Be a Jerk
If you’ve got an LGBTQ+ friend dealing with family drama, the best thing you can do is back off and let them make their own calls. Don’t push them to reconcile or try to fix things. Sometimes, family and church aren’t safe places. The harm that happens behind closed doors is real, and it’s not always visible from the outside.
At the end of the day, DO NOT regret choosing yourself over their toxic family. Find other chosen family that treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
If you need help this holiday season….
Mental Health Support
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 for free, confidential support 24/7.
https://www.crisistextline.orgBetterHelp: Online therapy platform offering licensed counselors.
https://www.betterhelp.comNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline (now 988): Call 988 or visit their website for support.
https://988lifeline.org
LGBT National Help Center: Resources and peer support for LGBTQIA+ individuals.
https://www.lgbthotline.org
Community and Peer Support
Reddit - r/raisedbynarcissists: A supportive community for those with toxic families.
https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/Reddit - r/LGBT: A safe space for LGBTQIA+ people to share experiences and seek support.
https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/TrevorSpace: An affirming online community for LGBTQIA+ youth.
https://www.trevorspace.org