MAGAs, Get This Through Your Fucking Skull: Criteria for the Presidential Medal of Freedom

Because all of you whiny crybabies are bitching about who gets one and who does not.

Let’s talk about the Presidential Medal of Freedom—the highest civilian award in the United States. It’s a big fucking deal, given to people who’ve done some serious shit to better the world, inspire others, or just straight-up change the game in their field. But how does someone actually land one of these shiny ass medals? Let’s break it down: the methodology, the reasons, and the criteria for handing out this prestigious piece of metal.

What the Fuck is the Presidential Medal of Freedom?

Established in 1963 by President John F. Kennedy, the Presidential Medal of Freedom is a way to recognize exceptional contributions to the country—without requiring someone to, you know, save lives on the battlefield. This medal honors civilians (and sometimes military folk, too) who’ve gone above and beyond in areas like:

• Public service

• Arts and culture

• Science and technology

• Education

• Civil rights

• Athletics

It’s like the Oscars, but instead of actors crying about their craft, you’ve got people who’ve actually done something meaningful.

The Methodology: How the Hell Do You Get One?

Here’s the juicy part: you don’t just stroll into the White House and ask for a medal. There’s a process, and while it’s not exactly publicized step-by-step, we know enough to piece together how it goes down.

1. Nomination

First off, someone’s gotta nominate your ass. This can be anyone—a regular citizen, an organization, or a government official. Surely even you MAGA idiots can understand how a “nomination” works. If not, then as a MAGA believing idiot, you are stupid. There’s no official application form, but nominations are usually submitted in writing to the White House or directly to the President’s staff. So, if you’ve done something worthy, you better hope someone notices and takes the time to sing your praises.

2. Review Process

Once nominated, the candidate’s achievements are reviewed by White House staffers. They’ll dig through your background, accomplishments, and contributions to see if you’re the real fucking deal. This isn’t some casual scroll-through-your-LinkedIn situation. It’s thorough as hell.

3. Presidential Approval

After the staff narrows down the list, the final decision lies with the President. They get the ultimate say on who’s worthy of this medal. It’s a personal choice, which means politics, personal values, and even some favoritism can come into play. Let’s be honest, not all picks are pure—some are strategic as fuck.

4. Ceremony

If you make the cut, congrats! You get invited to a ceremony where the President slaps that medal around your neck in front of cameras and important people. Cue the applause, the heartfelt speeches, and maybe a few tears.

Criteria: Why the Fuck Are These People Chosen?

The criteria for the Presidential Medal of Freedom are intentionally broad, which is both awesome and kind of vague. Here’s what they’re looking for:

1. Significant Contributions

Whether you’re curing diseases, leading a civil rights movement, or creating groundbreaking art, your work has to have made a big-ass impact. Think Martin Luther King Jr., Toni Morrison, or Jonas Salk—people who didn’t just excel but shifted the goddamn world.

2. Inspiration

Some recipients are chosen because they’ve inspired the fuck out of people. For example, athletes like Simone Biles and Billie Jean King have proven that hard work, resilience, and kicking ass can motivate others to do the same.

3. Service to the Country

Public servants, military heroes, and advocates who’ve dedicated their lives to improving America often find themselves on the list. Whether it’s through politics, activism, or community work, these folks are making the country better for everyone.

4. Excellence in Their Field

Sometimes, it’s about being the best damn person at what you do. Take Stephen Hawking, for instance. The dude was a freaking genius, and his contributions to science earned him one of these medals.

Notable Recipients: Who the Hell’s Got One?

Here’s where it gets interesting. Over the years, the Presidential Medal of Freedom has gone to some legendary names—and a few controversial ones. Let’s call out a few big hitters:

• Martin Luther King Jr.: For his monumental role in the civil rights movement.

• Rosa Parks: For refusing to give up her seat and sparking change.

• Maya Angelou: For her groundbreaking poetry and activism.

• Elvis Presley: Yep, even The King got one. It’s not all serious stuff, folks.

• Sandra Day O’Connor: The first woman on the Supreme Court. Hell yes.

• Barack Obama: Awarded during his presidency for… well, being Barack fucking Obama.

Controversial Picks: When the Medal Gets Political as Fuck

Not every recipient is universally loved. Sometimes, Presidents hand these medals out to people who’ve raised a few eyebrows:

• Rush Limbaugh: Given by Trump, this pick pissed off a lot of people who saw it as a purely political move.

• Bill Cosby: Awarded by George W. Bush before all the sexual assault allegations came to light. Yikes.

• Harvey Weinstein: Just kidding. That’d never fucking happen. But MAGAs would want it Im sure.

Why Does This Shit Matter?

The Presidential Medal of Freedom isn’t just a shiny trinket. It’s a symbol of what America values—or at least what the person in the Oval Office values. The people who get this award are held up as examples of excellence, bravery, and service. They’re role models, whether you agree with every pick or not.

But let’s be real: the process isn’t perfect. Politics, favoritism, and public opinion all play a role. Sometimes it feels like a genuine “Thank you for your service,” and other times, it’s more like a strategic “Look at me honoring this person” move.

Can Regular Assholes Like Us Get One?

Technically, yes. If you’re out there changing the world, making a difference, or being a total badass in your field, someone might nominate you. But let’s face it, most of us won’t even get close. That’s okay—you can still make an impact without a medal.

Final Thoughts: The Medal’s Legacy

At its core, the Presidential Medal of Freedom is about celebrating human achievement and the potential for greatness. It’s a reminder that individuals can shape history, inspire others, and make the world a better place—all while rocking a little bling around their neck.

So, whether you’re aiming for one of these medals or just trying to be less of an asshole, take a page from these recipients: do some good, be excellent, and maybe—just maybe—someone will notice.

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Non-URL Citations

1. "Presidential Medal of Freedom Facts." U.S. National Archives.

2. "Criteria for the Presidential Medal of Freedom." The White House, Presidential Press Releases.

3. "Profiles of Medal Recipients." Congressional Medal of Honor Society.

4. "Presidential Medals Through History." National Museum of American History.

5. "Medal Controversies: The Stories Behind the Awards." Smithsonian Magazine.