National Security 115: Don't Release Social Security Numbers in Your Unredacted Files

When Donaldo Shitsburger decided to release the unredacted JFK assassination files, it wasn't just another day of presidential incompetence—it was a goddamn travesty that will echo through our intelligence community for decades. The stench of this decision reeks worse than a dumpster behind a seafood restaurant in August.

Let's get something crystal clear: hundreds of Social Security numbers were just thrown into the public domain like confetti at a parade for idiots. Can you feel the cold sweat of every intelligence officer whose personal information is now floating around the dark web? Can you taste the bitter panic of families whose privacy was sacrificed on the altar of Donny McFartsalot's impulsiveness?

These weren't just random numbers. These belonged to intelligence assets, government employees, and witnesses—real people whose lives have now bee…