No Kings Trump Protest Checklist: The Survival Guide

Listen up, you beautiful bastards. Today isn’t just another Saturday where you scroll through your fucking phone and complain about the state of the world from your couch. Today is the day you drag your ass out into the streets and make some noise about this authoritarian bullshit that’s been festering like an infected wound on the body politic. But here’s the thing that makes my blood boil - half of you motherfuckers are going to show up to these No Kings protests looking like you just rolled out of bed, with no plan, no preparation, and no fucking clue what you’re walking into.

The psychology behind this kind of unpreparedness is fascinating and infuriating in equal measure. We’ve been conditioned by decades of comfortable complacency to think that showing up is enough. That our mere presence will somehow magically transform the political landscape. But that’s not how this shit works, and it never has been. Every successful protest movement in history - from the suffragettes who chai…