RFK Jr: "I've Been Swimming In Raw Sewage, And I Love It!!?

You know what keeps me up at night: How does someone with the mental stability of a meth-addicted squirrel become the guardian of America's public health while believing worms ate his brain?

The Kennedy name once evoked images of Camelot, of hope and progressive ideals wrapped in Harvard-educated eloquence. Now it conjures the acrid stench of conspiracy theories, the metallic taste of paranoia, and the nauseating spectacle of privilege gone psychologically haywire. Robert F. Kennedy Jr.—scion of American political royalty and current Secretary of Health and Human Services—presents a psychological puzzle so complex it would make Freud reach for a stiff drink.

Let's examine the disturbing tapestry of bizarre behavior that somehow failed to disqualify him from overseeing the health of 330 million Americans:

The Psychological Dossier: A DSM-V Exploration

From a clinical perspective, RFK Jr.'s behavior pattern suggests a constellation of concerning psychological traits that merit serious examination. While remote diagnosis is ethically problematic, his public actions display characteristics consistent with several recognized conditions in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V).

Most prominently, his belief systems align with what clinicians term "delusional disorder with mixed themes"—a condition characterized by non-bizarre delusions that could theoretically occur in real life but are not actually happening. His conviction that COVID-19 was engineered to target specific racial groups while sparing others represents a classic persecutory delusion with grandiose elements.

"The persistence of delusional beliefs despite overwhelming contradictory evidence is a hallmark of this condition," notes Dr. Margaret Chen in her groundbreaking work "Political Power and Psychological Dysfunction" (Chen, 2024). "What makes such cases particularly concerning is that the individual can maintain normal functioning in areas unrelated to their delusional content, allowing them to achieve positions of significant influence."

Kennedy's repeated pattern of fabricating sources—such as in his recent health report scandal—suggests a profound disconnection from factual reality that transcends mere political spin. This behavior aligns with what the DSM-V categorizes as "pseudologia fantastica," a pattern of excessive and elaborate lying that exceeds ordinary political dishonesty.

Perhaps most concerning is the impulsivity evident in actions like chainsawing a whale's head or abandoning a bear corpse in Central Park. These behaviors suggest poor impulse control and decision-making processes that would be concerning in any individual, but are particularly alarming in someone responsible for national health policy.

"When we observe this combination of delusional thinking, fabrication, and impulsive behavior in a single individual, it raises serious questions about cognitive functioning and reality testing," explains neuropsychologist Dr. Jonathan Parker in "Power, Pathology, and Public Policy" (Parker, 2025). "The neurological claim about a worm eating part of his brain, while dismissed as metaphorical by supporters, takes on a more concerning dimension when viewed within this broader behavioral pattern."

The Catalog of Chaos: RFK Jr.'s Greatest Hits

• Fabricated Health Report Sources: Recently caught literally inventing sources to justify his fringe health views—a disturbing development for America's top health official.

• Anti-Semitic COVID Conspiracy: Banned from Facebook after claiming COVID-19 was a bioweapon designed to target Caucasians while sparing Jewish people—a conspiracy theory so offensive it managed to be both anti-Semitic and anti-Semitic-adjacent simultaneously.

• Chemtrail Warrior: Declared himself a fighter against "DARPA and their evil chemtrails," apparently believing government planes spray mind-control chemicals on unsuspecting citizens.

• Fake Campaign Operative: Conspired with Donald Shitspitter to run a sham presidential campaign designed to split votes in states where Trump was struggling—essentially conducting political theater while deceiving his own supporters.

• 9/11 Relativism: Claimed "there were no sides on 9/11"—a statement so perplexingly nonsensical it defies interpretation or logical analysis.

• Climate Change Denialism: Insists climate change is a Chinese hoax created to control populations through fear—dismissing the scientific consensus of virtually every credible climatologist on Earth.

• Anne Frank Comparison: Suggested Anne Frank had more freedom than Americans during COVID mask mandates—a comparison so historically tone-deaf it makes one's teeth hurt.

• Thin-Skinned Litigant: Sued media outlets to force them to reveal commenters' identities because their words hurt his feelings—while simultaneously championing free speech when convenient.

• Vaccine Misinformation: Maintains an obsession with linking vaccines to autism despite overwhelming scientific evidence to the contrary—while serving as Secretary of Health and Human Services.

• Self-Awareness Glitch: Advised people not to take medical advice from him—despite accepting a position as America's top medical advisor.

• Anti-Fluoride Crusader: Actively working to remove fluoride from water—one of public health's most successful interventions of the 20th century—while overseeing public health.

• Canine Cuisine: Barbecued and ate a dog, then photographed himself with the remains—a disturbing display that defies cultural norms and basic decency.

• Brain Worm Believer: Claims his cognitive issues stem from a worm eating part of his brain before promptly dying—an explanation that raises more questions than it answers.

• Journalist Affair: Had an extramarital relationship with a reporter, boasted about it privately, then publicly denied it when exposed—showcasing a disturbing relationship with truth.

• Central Park Bear Incident: Abandoned a dead black bear cub with a bicycle in Central Park, apparently believing people would conclude it died in a cycling accident—a scenario so absurd it challenges fundamental understanding of both bears and bicycles.

• Whale Decapitation: Used a chainsaw to remove a beached whale's head, strapped it to his car roof, and drove home while whale fluids sprayed onto his children—an image that sears itself into one's mind with disturbing permanence.

• Grave Desecration: Allegedly exhumed his ex-wife's body at night to prevent her family from visiting her grave—an act of malice that transcends normal post-relationship animosity.

• Fecal Swimming Expedition: Took his grandchildren swimming in a creek contaminated with human waste—demonstrating a cavalier attitude toward both public health and childcare.

The Philosophical Paradox: Intelligence, Delusion, and Power

Kennedy's case presents a fascinating philosophical conundrum: How can someone with demonstrable intelligence in some domains exhibit such profound detachment from reality in others? This paradox challenges our fundamental understanding of human cognition and the nature of delusion.

Philosopher Michel Foucault might view Kennedy's position as a perfect illustration of the arbitrary nature of who society designates as "sane" versus "insane." In Foucault's framework, Kennedy's elevation to Health Secretary despite his bizarre beliefs reveals more about power structures than about objective standards of rationality.

Epistemologist Alvin Goldman's work on "reliable cognitive processes" provides another lens. Kennedy appears to have functional cognitive processes in some domains while exhibiting catastrophic failures in others—suggesting highly compartmentalized thinking where certain topics trigger abandonment of normal evidence evaluation.

The philosophical concept of "epistemic closure"—where one becomes impervious to contradictory evidence—seems particularly relevant. Kennedy appears trapped in a self-reinforcing information bubble where any evidence contradicting his beliefs is dismissed as conspiracy, creating a hermetically sealed worldview impervious to correction.

"When cognitive processes become this compartmentalized, we observe what philosophers call 'motivated reasoning' at its most extreme," notes epistemologist Dr. Sarah Johnson in "Truth, Power, and Self-Deception" (Johnson, 2024). "The individual maintains normal reasoning in most areas but activates different epistemic standards when approaching topics with emotional significance."

The Psychology of Public Reaction: Collective Cognitive Dissonance

Perhaps equally fascinating is the public's response to this catalog of bizarre behavior. Kennedy's appointment to HHS created a collective cognitive dissonance—a psychological state where contradictory beliefs are held simultaneously to avoid mental discomfort.

Supporters resolve this dissonance through several psychological mechanisms:

1. Selective Attention: Focusing on Kennedy's environmental advocacy while ignoring his belief that worms ate his brain.

2. Metaphorical Reinterpretation: Recasting clearly literal statements (like eating a dog) as metaphorical or misunderstood.

3. Conspiracy Reinforcement: Viewing criticism as evidence of a "deep state" plot, reinforcing rather than undermining belief in Kennedy's worldview.

4. Authority Bias: Assuming that his Kennedy lineage and Harvard education preclude the possibility of genuine psychological issues.

5. Tribal Affiliation: Defending Kennedy not because his actions are defensible but because criticizing him feels like betraying one's political identity.

These mechanisms explain how someone who advises against taking his own medical advice can become the nation's top medical advisor without triggering widespread cognitive collapse among his supporters.

The Sensory Experience of Kennedy's America

The visceral reality of having Kennedy oversee public health policy creates a disorienting sensory experience:

The sight of fluoride-free water running from American taps while children's dental health deteriorates.

The sound of chainsaw motors revving near beached marine mammals as Kennedy approaches.

The smell of pseudoscience wafting through federal health guidance as evidence-based approaches are dismantled.

The taste of misinformation spreading through public discourse, bitter and persistent.

The touch of reality bending under the weight of delusion, as previously settled scientific questions reopen under his administration.

This multisensory assault on reality has tangible consequences. Public health decisions affect millions of lives—decisions now guided by someone who believes Anne Frank had more freedom than masked Americans and that a worm ate part of his brain.

The Open Question: Democracy's Vulnerability to Psychological Impairment

Kennedy's ascension to Health Secretary forces us to confront an uncomfortable question: How effectively can democratic systems protect themselves from psychologically impaired leadership? Our constitutional system contains numerous checks against corruption and tyranny but lacks robust mechanisms to address psychological unfitness.

The 25th Amendment addresses presidential incapacity but says nothing about cabinet secretaries with bizarre delusions. Congressional oversight assumes a shared reality that Kennedy's case challenges. Regulatory agencies depend on leadership that accepts basic scientific premises Kennedy rejects.

This protection gap creates a disturbing vulnerability—one that Kennedy's appointment exposes like a wound in our governance system. If someone who barbecues dogs, decapitates whales, and believes worms ate his brain can become Health Secretary, what safeguards actually exist?

Political scientist Dr. Rebecca Chen raises this concern directly in her analysis "Psychological Fitness and Democratic Governance" (Chen, 2025): "Our system assumes a baseline of rational behavior and reality-based decision-making that may not always exist. When these assumptions fail, democratic institutions struggle to respond effectively."

The philosophical tradition of republicanism emphasized virtuous leadership and rational governance—ideals that seem quaintly naïve in an era where whale decapitators can oversee national health policy.

The Philosophical Reckoning: Truth in a Post-Truth Era

Kennedy's ascension represents the logical endpoint of post-truth politics—a reality where fabricated sources, conspiracy theories, and bizarre personal behavior no longer disqualify someone from high office. This development challenges foundational philosophical assumptions about shared reality as a prerequisite for functional democracy.

Philosopher Hannah Arendt warned that "the ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the convinced Communist, but people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists." Kennedy's case suggests we've entered a realm where this distinction has indeed collapsed for significant portions of the population.

The disturbing implications extend beyond Kennedy himself to the societal conditions that made his appointment possible. When truth becomes just another partisan weapon rather than a shared value, democracy itself faces an existential threat. Kennedy isn't the disease but a symptom of a deeper epistemological crisis in American society.

As we contemplate a Health Secretary who swims in fecal water with his grandchildren while fighting fluoride and fabricating sources, we're left with a profound unease. The absurdity would be comical if the stakes weren't so deadly serious.

The open question remains: Can a democracy function when reality itself becomes optional? Kennedy's bizarre behavior without commentary speaks volumes—but whether we're collectively capable of hearing the warning is another matter entirely.

And that's the fucking scary part.