The Government Doesn't Determine My Identity, But Yes, Affirming ID Documents for Trans People Matter

I refuse to be a persona non grata in my own fucking country.

ID update rules are rapidly changing under Trump

Even before Trump’s Republican Party ramped up their attacks on trans rights (672 anti-trans bills were filed at the state and federal levels in 2024) or spent $200+ million on anti-trans advertising, ID changes for trans Americans were a pain in the ass. Our identification systems are a blend of state and federal control, so you have to navigate both sets of confusing rules and procedures.

State laws for updating names and gender markers on driver’s licenses and state ID cards vary wildly—from simply declaring change(s) and obtaining a court order to meeting particular surgical requirements. Gender-affirming surgeries are expensive, have years-long wait times, and require going through multiple gatekeepers in the health care system. Also, not every trans person needs or desires surgery. We’ll cover more of that minutiae in a future post.

On the federal level, ID documents are handled by the Social Security Administration (Social Security cards) and by the U.S. State Department (passports). Previously, updating federal documents was essentially a matter of sending the feds copies of one’s state-level IDs and then waiting for them to mail updated copies of your federal documents. In 2022, the Biden administration added X as a gender marker option for those who are outside the traditional gender binary.

After Trump was sworn in on Monday, his first order of business was signing a fat stack of Executive Orders rolling back civil protections for multiple marginalized groups, including signing the so-called “Defending Women from Gender Ideology Extremism and Restoring Biological Truth to the Federal Government” EO. This poorly written, scientifically illiterate EO declares sex and gender to be synonymous, immutable, and determined at conception.

Trump’s Secretary of State Mark Rubio was sworn in yesterday morning and went right to work playing gender police. According to The Guardian, all passport applications seeking an X marker have been stopped, as well as all passport applications asking for any type of gender marker change.

We’re keeping an eye on this rapidly-evolving situation, watching for LGBTQ+ civil rights organizations to fight back in the courts, and hoping that eventually we can all get documents with our correct names and genders.

Documents affirming who we are are important

A lot of people don’t realize why this matters to trans people. Even well-intentioned people say things like, “why can’t you just go by your chosen name and leave your IDs as is?”

Well, the wrong name is the wrong name; the wrong gender is the wrong gender. Some of y’all need to get past the pervasive and incorrect idea that trans people are just *Crossdresser Premium Edition.*

As for me, I am Miranda 100% of the time. I’m not a fucking fetish or costume. I’m a wife of 17+ years. I’m a mom (well, Mum in our household because my wife is Mom). I’m Miranda whether I’m presenting high-femme in a dress with glam makeup or just relaxing in my athleisure wear. I’m Miranda, Mum, my wife’s wife when I’m just wearing jeans and a t-shirt and have my hair up in a messy bun. I’m Miranda when I’m sitting in the auditorium at our kids’ school watching their music and drama performances. This is who I am.

Because I’m Miranda, having to code switch to my dead name and “sir” and “mister” to handle banking, commerce, etc. fucking sucks. It creates a hundred different coming out situations. It’s annoying. It hurts (one of these days, I might try to explain the unexplainable—how painful dysphoria actually is). And frankly, this kind of code switching in order to just get by in the world is straight-up demeaning.

What happens when the ID doesn’t match how you present

I’m in my 40s and didn’t start my transition until I was 39, so no matter what I do with makeup and fashion, I am generally clockable as a trans woman. I probably always will be.

A few months ago (before I had updated my driver’s license), while eating at a restaurant with my wife, we ordered alcoholic drinks. Prior to our drinks order, our server—a young man who was let’s say Republican-presenting—had been impeccably kind and courteous. Please, thank you, ma’am, and ladies were frequent and given with a smile.

Then he checked our IDs. I don’t know if the restaurant had a check all IDs policy (a lot of places do) or if he wanted a peak at my ID because he had clocked me as trans. Once he saw my dead name, incorrect gender marker, and pre-HRT receding hairline photo, his demeanor drastically changed.

The remainder of our meal was tense. He kept standing in the doorway of the kitchen with other employees alternating between staring at me and laughing and glaring. Each time he returned to the table, he loudly addressed me as sir, causing other diners to turn their heads our way. I wanted to disappear. My wife was ready to go to fisticuffs, if needed. I love her so much.

Thankfully this situation didn’t escalate further than tension and outright disrespect, as if that isn’t bad enough. But I’ve been threatened at other times. I’ve had to hide between cars in parking lots to get away from rabid transphobes with that itch for violence who had followed me out of the grocery store. Anytime I’m clocked as trans or have to present an ID or payment card with old info, that creates a moment that could be merely uncomfortable or one that is dangerous.

This is just one of many experiences. Frankly, I’m lucky. Trans friends of mine have suffered the pent up rage of violent transphobes. Trump’s policies will make those kinds of outcomes more common.

An apology about the price of eggs

My fellow Americans, I’m sorry that my existence irks Trump and the GOP so much that they are ignoring the real problems this country faces and instead are turning governance into a giant game of smear the queer.

Please reach out to your representatives and senators, and your local and state leaders, to encourage them to stop this bullshit and to leave trans people alone.

No matter what this government says, I am Miranda. I am a woman. I am a wife. I am a mum. I am an aunt. I am a poet. I am the editor-in-chief of this blog. I know who I am, and their dirty games can’t take that from me.

Citations:

1. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/jan/23/trump-rubio-x-gender-passport

2. HRW. (Photo). “We Have to Beg So Many People”. 2024

3. https://truthout.org/articles/republicans-spent-nearly-215m-on-tv-ads-attacking-trans-rights-this-election/

4. https://translegislation.com

5. https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/2025/01/defending-women-from-gender-ideology-extremism-and-restoring-biological-truth-to-the-federal-government/