Good morning, beloved community. It's Monday, January 13, 2026. Today: House Republicans are clinging to power by their goddamn fingernails while Trump threatens his own party, our planet continues its slow-motion scream into oblivion, Elon Musk weaponizes a custody battle against basic human decency, and the life hack that'll change your fucking week.

Editor's note: The frost hasn't lifted, and neither have our spirits—but here we are anyway, warming our hands on spite and solidarity.

The Capitol reeks of flop sweat. That acrid, nervous stink of 218 Republican seats against 213 Democrats— a margin so razor-thin that Speaker Mike Johnson can only afford to lose two goddamn votes on any party-line bill. The math is brutal: Representative Doug LaMalfa dropped dead on January 6th, Marjorie Taylor Greene rage-quit on January 5th (conveniently after qualifying for her pension), and Rep. Jim Baird is recovering from a car wreck. On January 9th, a roll call showed equal numbers of Republicans and Democrats voting—a functional tie.

The damage runs deep. Twenty-four Republican House members have either resigned or announced they won't seek reelection—more departures than any cycle in two decades except 2018 and 2020. At the Kennedy Center (now renamed "Trump Kennedy Center" because of course it fucking is), Trump warned his own party: "You got to win the midterms. Because if we don't win the midterms… they'll find a reason to impeach me." The Hill He's targeting five GOP senators who crossed him, declaring they "should never be elected to office again."

Retiring Rep. Don Bacon puts it plainly: being "bullied by the president" actually emboldens him to vote against Trump. CNN Democrats have been overperforming in special elections by an average of 13 points. The House majority has never switched mid-Congress—but that possibility is now being whispered in every cloakroom.

Put your palm against the window glass—feel how the cold barely bites anymore? That's climate collapse rendered tactile. Earth.org's comprehensive breakdown identifies sixteen simultaneous environmental crises suffocating us, and the numbers are a gut-punch.

Biodiversity has cratered 68% among mammals, fish, birds, reptiles, and amphibians since 1970. Fourteen million tons of plastic enter our oceans annually, with 91% of all plastic ever made never recycled. Four to seven million people die yearly from air pollution—nine out of ten humans breathe air exceeding safe pollutant levels. Deforestation claims 300 football fields of forest every hour. Emperor penguins face "quasi-extinction" by 2100.

And the money? The LA wildfires in January 2025 alone exceeded $60 billion in damage—the costliest wildfire in history. The 23 billion-dollar weather disasters last year totaled $115 billion and 276 deaths. Meanwhile, COP30 ended without mentioning fossil fuels, and 1,600 of its attendees—one in fucking twenty-five—represented the fossil fuel industry. We're not failing to solve this crisis. We're being prevented from solving it.

The bile rises—that familiar, metallic taste when powerful men weaponize children. Elon Musk announced on January 12th that he's filing for full custody of his 15-month-old son Romulus after the child's mother, Ashley St. Clair, posted an apology for her previous anti-trans statements. TMZ

Here's what St. Clair actually wrote: "I feel immense guilt for my role. And even more guilt that things I have said in the past may have caused my son's sister more pain"—referring to Musk's transgender daughter Vivian Wilson, whom Musk publicly declared "dead" in 2024.

Musk's grotesque claim: that her apology "implies she might transition a one-year-old boy." TMZ St. Clair has made no such statement. Zero. This is a 54-year-old billionaire—who has fathered at least 14 children with four women— attempting to strip custody because a mother expressed remorse for hurting trans people. He reportedly offered her $15 million to stay quiet about paternity and now uses family court as punishment for basic empathy. The cruelty isn't a bug; it's the whole damn operating system.

LGBTQIA+ Culture: The Traitors saved this lesbian detective's life—literally. Former Metropolitan Police Detective Chief Inspector Amanda Collier, 57, joined BBC's The Traitors Season 4 as a "Faithful" and came out as lesbian on camera when fellow contestants suspected a romance ("You're not my sort," she told Hugo Lodge). Diva Magazine But here's the twist: The show's routine pre-filming CT scan revealed "quite serious heart disease"—a genetic condition she'd never noticed because she kept fit. Now on medication and changed routines, she credits BBC's due diligence with saving her life. Sapphic TikTok has crowned her an icon.

Activism Shitstorm: JK Rowling posted about Iran's protests—1.2 million views—praising demonstrators while criticizing activists who stay silent. X The backlash was immediate and brutal: journalist Sangita Myska called out her "neo-colonial zombie feminism," others demanded to know where she was during two years of Gaza coverage. Rowling fired back, but the hypocrisy charges stuck. Selective outrage remains the currency of comfortable dissent. The Canary

Ecological Reality Check: The Rhodium Group reports US emissions rose 2.4% in 2025 after two years of decline. Buildings sector up 6.8% from colder winters, power sector up 3.8% with coal generation surging 13% because natural gas prices spiked 58%. The kicker: data centers and AI operations drove electricity demand up 2.4%, concentrated in Texas and the Mid-Atlantic. Solar grew 34%— but it's not enough. We're now projecting only 26-35% emissions reduction by 2035, about a third slower than needed.

January Survival Mode: Your circadian rhythm is shot to hell from the holidays. Here's the fix: morning light exposure within 30 minutes of waking—even cloudy January light—resets your internal clock. Take your coffee outside. Suffer the cold for ten damn minutes. Your sleep will thank you by Wednesday.

Hydration Truth: Winter dehydration sneaks up because you don't feel thirsty. Your mucous membranes are cracking, your skin's flaking, your brain's foggy. Drink water like it's your job—add lemon, add warmth, add whatever makes you actually consume it. Eight glasses isn't arbitrary bullshit; it's baseline survival.

The January kitchen smells like garlic softening in olive oil and the earthy sweetness of roasting root vegetables. Roasted carrot and ginger soup: char your carrots until they caramelize, blend with fresh ginger, vegetable stock, and a splash of coconut milk. The warmth spreads from your chest outward. Serve with crusty bread and the quiet satisfaction of feeding yourself something that isn't sad desk lunch.

Picture this: You wake up, check your retirement account, and discover the Federal Reserve chair is facing criminal charges because he wouldn't bow to a president's demands for lower interest rates. Vox's breakdown of the Trump-Powell showdown explains how Powell broke his silence Sunday with a stunning video statement calling the DOJ investigation a "pretext" for political intimidation—and why central bankers worldwide are rallying to his defense as trillions of dollars and millions of jobs hang in the balance. Vox

Seasonal Prediction: Trump fires Powell. Markets tank. Your 401k weeps. Someone on Fox News blames avocado toast. The cycle continues.

Historical Discovery: Researchers claim ground-penetrating radar found a 234-foot central corridor and three distinct layers beneath Turkey's Durupinar Formation—matching Genesis's description of Noah's Ark. Skeptics note the site was debunked as natural rock formation in 1996. Believers persist. The search for meaning in ancient mud continues.

Visual Feast: Will Smith—lifelong arachnophobe—descended 300 feet into Ecuador's Tayos Cave to capture a dinner-plate-sized tarantula for his new National Geographic series Pole to Pole. The team discovered at least six new species while milking venom that could yield breakthrough pharmaceuticals. Sometimes fear is just unexplored territory.

Clickbait Redemption: 18-year-old engineering student Ribal Zebian built a modular home prototype from fiberglass and PET foam that can be assembled in a single day. He's planning to live in it himself for a year to test it. London, Ontario has 1,800 homeless residents. One teenager did more than a city council.

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Behind the Name: The Gathering connects you to the mycelial wisdom beneath surface noise—the ancestral knowledge that grounds us, the daily practices that keep us tethered to what fucking matters.