Thursday Evening Edition: A Clockwork Orange (President)

Who Gives a Shit About Greenland: Not Donald Trump Right Now

LIVE Session at 7pm: Join Us

Holy fucking SHIT! Can you SMELL the stench of colonial arrogance wafting from this catastrophic diplomatic dumpster fire? The Trump administration's bullshit "cultural heritage tour" of Greenland—led by second lady Usha Vance—just got gutted like a fish, slashed down to a pathetic military-bases-only visit that REEKS of embarrassment and failure.

You can practically TASTE the bitter tension in the air as Vice President Vance drags his ass onto this sinking ship right as The Atlantic's explosive report blows up in their faces like a hand grenade. The original delegation—with that war-hungry bastard Mike Waltz and oil-soaked Chris Wright in tow—sent ice-cold CHILLS down Greenlandic spines as Trump's vulture-like eyes fixate on their mineral-rich homeland. FEEL the raw relief emanating from Danish Foreign Minister Lars Løkke Rasmussen's words as he basically says "thank Christ these American vultures …