Thursday RoundUp: Rebel Without a Cause (But With US Nuclear Codes)

Otherwise Known As The Tariffs RoundUp

Goodbye Retirement Account, I so loved you

The fucking market has absolutely crashed and burned in a goddamn bloodbath following that Dumpy McShitsHisPant’s shocking announcement of what will only soon be called the Fuck-the-US-with-No-Lube tariffs. Wall Street lost its shit completely as investors panicked like hell.

• Major U.S. indexes opened with substantial losses: Dow Jones down 2.8% (1,200+ points), S&P 500 down 3.3%, and Nasdaq down 4.4%

• Trump announced a 10% tariff on all imports, with higher rates for specific trading partners:

  • 20% for European Union products

  • 54% for Chinese goods

• The White House framed these tariffs as addressing unfair trade practices and described the situation as a "national emergency”.

• Economic experts warned the tariffs could significantly slow economic activity, raise costs for Americans, and potentially trigger a recession

• GOP Fuckwads are defending the tariffs saying this needs to happen. So now is the time to vote those fuckers out of the districts they ho…