You know what keeps me up at night: What happens when every warning sign we saw coming materializes exactly as predicted, and the people who could have stopped it are too busy applauding the spectacle to notice the nation burning?
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The air in my office tastes like copper and stale coffee—that specific flavor of being right about something you desperately wanted to be wrong about. My stomach clenches, that particular nausea that comes from watching a slow-motion car crash you called six months ago. It's December 2025, and I'm sitting here with two documents that tell the same story from different angles: my own January article warning about Susan Wiles, and a Vanity Fair deep-dive that reads like a goddamn horror novel where every twist was telegraphed in the opening chapter.
In January, I wrote about how Susan Wiles—Florida GOP royalty turned Trumpington De ShittyGobhole's most trusted strategist—was a ticking time bomb with questionable loyalty and a resume soaked in controversy. Now, eleven months later, we have confirmation: she's not just a bomb. She's the whole fucking arsenal, and she's already detonated.
"The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function." — F. Scott Fitzgerald
But here's the question that makes my skin crawl: What happens when that first-rate intelligence is dedicated entirely to enabling a man with "an alcoholic's personality" who believes "there's nothing he can't do"?
The Receipts: What I Said vs. What Actually Fucking Happened
Prediction Meets Reality in the Worst Possible Way
Let me paint you a picture of prescience so accurate it feels like punishment. In January, I warned that Wiles' loyalty was "questionable at best." I noted her history with Ron DeSantis, her willingness to play fast and loose with ethics, and her establishment connections that could alienate Farty Donaldo's base. I called her "a wild card with a history of controversy" who "could turn her into a major liability."
Flash forward to November 2025. The Vanity Fair piece—based on a year of regular conversations with Wiles herself—reveals she's not just enabled every impulse, every vendetta, every authoritarian twitch that Trumpty MouthAnus has exhibited. She's facilitated them. She's the fucking concierge of constitutional destruction, checking her watch and making sure the dictator-in-training stays on schedule.
THE EVIDENCE AUTOPSY:
My Warning (January 2025): "Wiles isn't exactly squeaky fucking clean. Her career has been marked by allegations of ethical lapses and backroom assfuckery."
The Reality (November 2025): Wiles admits Donaldo BukakkeVictim has "an alcoholic's personality" and "operates with a view that there's nothing he can't do." She doesn't see this as disqualifying—she sees it as her job description.
My Warning: "If Wiles sees an opportunity to further her career by jumping ship—or worse, sabotaging Trump—she might not hesitate."
The Reality: Wiles hasn't jumped ship. She's become the ship's captain, steering it directly into icebergs while insisting the cold water is refreshing.
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." — Edmund Burke
Translation: Evil triumphs a hell of a lot faster when capable women actively fucking orchestrate it.
The Epstein Files Shitshow: A Case Study in Complicity
When Your Chief of Staff Becomes Chief Damage Controller
Here's where my stomach turns itself inside-fucking-out: the Jeffrey Epstein files debacle. Wiles told Vanity Fair she "underestimated the potency" of the scandal. She admits Donny TurdChomper "is in the file" but insists he's "not in the file doing anything awful." She describes them as "young, single playboys together"—a phrase that should make anyone with a functioning moral compass want to vomit.
But it gets worse. Attorney General Pam Bondi gave conservative influencers binders labeled "The Epstein Files: Phase 1" containing exactly nothing of substance. Wiles admits: "I think she completely whiffed on appreciating that that was the very targeted group that cared about this."
The DOJ sent "dozens and dozens" of FBI agents to comb through the files. Looking for what? Wiles says "25 things, not one thing"—but refuses to specify what those things are. And when pressed about the birthday greeting featuring a nude woman sketch bearing Donald PoopTrump's name sent to Epstein, Wiles flatly states: "That letter is not his."
THE PATTERN REVEALS:
A chief of staff who admits her boss was on Epstein's plane and manifest but dismisses it as youthful indiscretion
An administration that promised transparency but delivered empty binders to the exact constituency that demanded accountability
A coordinated effort to bury information while pretending to release it—the political equivalent of a magic trick performed by a shitgoblin in a suit
"In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act." — George Orwell
This isn't deceit. This is institutional gaslighting at scale, and Wiles is the stage manager making sure the lighting never quite illuminates the truth.
War Crimes by Any Other Name Still Smell Like Blood
The Venezuela Strategy: Blow Shit Up Until Someone Cries Uncle
In January, I couldn't have predicted this specific fuckery because even my cynical ass didn't imagine it: Trump's "lethal campaign" against Venezuelan president Nicolás Maduro involves literally blowing boats out of the water in the Caribbean and eastern Pacific. At least 87 people dead as of publication. The Washington Post reports that Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth ordered the military to "kill everybody" on one boat, followed by a second strike killing survivors—textbook war crimes.
Wiles' response when pressed? "The president believes in harsh penalties for drug dealers." She frames these killings as "lives saved, not people killed," because eliminating drug boats somehow prevents 25,000 deaths. Never mind that drug smuggling isn't a death penalty offense. Never mind that some of these boats are almost certainly fishing vessels. Never mind that international law exists.
"We're very sure we know who we're blowing up," Wiles insists, citing the "great untold talents of the CIA." When asked about legal authority for these strikes, she casually notes they "don't need it yet" and that operating within Venezuela's territorial waters would require congressional approval—"but Marco and JD, to some extent, are up on the Hill every day, briefing."
Translation: We're committing acts of war without congressional authorization, killing people based on intelligence we won't verify, and the chief of staff thinks the problem is PR, not legality.
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." — Martin Luther King Jr.
These deaths in the Caribbean aren't abstractions. They're human beings—possibly fishermen, possibly smugglers, definitely dead—killed by an administration that considers due process an inconvenient suggestion.
The Retribution Tour That Never Ended
When "90 Days" Becomes Forever
In January, I worried about Wiles potentially leaking information or turning on Cheatloaf. Instead, she's become his most loyal enforcer, facilitating every vengeful impulse while pretending there's a plan.
In March, Wiles told Vanity Fair they had "a loose agreement that the score settling will end before the first 90 days are over." By August, when pressed about this promise, she pivoted: "I don't think he's on a retribution tour." She insists Trump's "governing principle" is preventing what happened to him from happening to others—which apparently requires indicting James Comey and Letitia James on charges that were immediately thrown out by federal judges as improperly brought.
When asked if she ever challenged Trump on going after James—who won a civil fraud case that cost him hundreds of millions—Wiles laughed: "Well, that might be the one retribution. Not on her. Not on her. She had a half a billion dollars of his money!"
The woman tasked with being the guardrail against presidential overreach thinks a civil court judgment justifies criminal prosecution. The woman who's supposed to tell the president "no" can't imagine why targeting political enemies might be problematic.
"Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." — Lord Acton
What We've Chosen: Competent Fascism Over Chaotic Democracy
The Synthesis Is Fuck-All Clear
The synthesis is fuck-all clear: We have a White House chief of staff who admits her boss has an alcoholic's personality, who facilitates rather than restrains presidential impulses, who defends extrajudicial killings as "lives saved," who dismisses connections to a sex trafficker as youthful playboy behavior, and who thinks political prosecutions are justified if they're directed at the right people.
Not "an overworked staffer trying her best." Not "a tragic figure caught between loyalty and principle." A deliberate architect of democratic backsliding who makes sure the trains run on time while they carry us toward authoritarian rule.
These same asshats who screamed about Biden's "weaponization" of justice are the ones indicting political enemies on charges so flimsy judges laugh them out of court. These same fuckwits who demanded transparency about Epstein delivered empty binders and classified intelligence reviews. These same shitstains who claim to support law and order are blowing up boats without congressional authorization and calling it drug interdiction.
The pattern of projection includes:
Accusing Democrats of lawfare while actually prosecuting political opponents
Demanding Epstein transparency while burying the files under FBI reviews
Claiming to prevent government overreach while unilaterally declaring war on cartels
"The line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either—but right through every human heart." — Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
The Stain We'll Leave: When Being Right Feels Like Losing
What History Will Record About Our Collective Failure
The air still tastes like copper and coffee. My article from January sits on one side of my desk. The Vanity Fair piece on the other. Together they tell a story of predictable catastrophe—the kind where you scream warnings into the void and watch people walk directly into traffic anyway.
Tomorrow, Wiles will facilitate another Trump impulse, another norm shattered, another guardrail demolished. Mike "Tiny" Johnson will genuflect. The MAGA base will cheer. And the same goddamn masses who could demand accountability will instead debate whether it's technically "fascism" if the trains run on time and the stock market stays up.
But that's not how it has to be. That's just how it is when we mistake competent enablement for effective leadership, when we confuse the absence of screaming tantrums for the presence of restraint, when we let one capable woman's organizational skills obscure her fundamental failure to serve as a check on authoritarian impulses.
The question isn't whether Susan Wiles is good at her job. She's fucking excellent at it—which is precisely the problem.
The question is whether we're willing to recognize that efficiency in service of authoritarianism is just fascism with better project management, and what we're going to do about the fact that I called this shitshow in January and we're still letting it happen in December.