Trump Wants To ButtFuck A Nuke & Send It to the Iranians
You know what keeps me up at night: How the fuck did we let one man's wounded pride potentially trigger World War III?
The acrid taste of betrayal still burns in my throat when I think about 2018. Picture this: you're watching the most delicate, intricate diplomatic dance in modern history—six world powers moving in perfect synchronization, defusing what could have been humanity's next great catastrophe. Then some orange-faced fucking toddler stomps onto the stage, kicks over the chess board, and sets the whole goddamn theater on fire.
This isn't just politics, people. This is the story of how Donaldo Shitsburger's bruised ego became the match that lit the fuse to our collective destruction.
The Sweet Taste of What Could Have Been
Let me paint you a picture so vivid you can smell the Persian saffron and feel the desert sand between your toes. Iran in 2015 wasn't the boogeyman we see today—it was a nation slowly, carefully stepping back from the nuclear precipice. The Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action wasn't just some bureaucratic bullshit; it was a fucking miracle wrapped in diplomatic paper and sealed with the tears of everyone who'd worked their asses off to prevent another war.
The sensory overload of that moment still hits me: the crisp rustle of documents being signed, the metallic clink of uranium centrifuges being dismantled, the sweet sound of sanctions being lifted like chains falling from a prisoner's wrists. Iran's oil began flowing again, black gold streaming across borders that had been sealed tighter than a nun's purse. Cultural exchanges bloomed like flowers after a long winter—Iranian students studying abroad, Western businesses cautiously opening doors, the intoxicating aroma of possibility filling the air.
Hassan Rouhani, that moderate son of a bitch, had actually pulled it off. He'd convinced the hardliners in Tehran to step back from the nuclear edge in exchange for rejoining the human race. The psychological weight of this cannot be overstated—imagine convincing a cornered animal to lay down its teeth and claws because you promised it a place at the dinner table.
But here's where the psychology gets fucking twisted. While the world celebrated this unprecedented achievement, Trumpty McFartFace was sitting in his golden tower, his narcissistic rage bubbling like acid in his gut. Every success Obama achieved was a personal affront to his delicate psyche, every diplomatic victory a slap across his spray-tanned face.
The Philosophy of Destruction
What drives a man to destroy something beautiful simply because he didn't create it? This isn't just petty politics—this is pure philosophical nihilism dressed up in a red tie. The Don of Dung operates from a worldview so fundamentally damaged that if he can't be the hero of the story, then there can be no heroes at all.
Think about the existential horror of this moment: humanity had collectively stepped back from the brink, had chosen cooperation over annihilation, had selected the harder path of patient diplomacy over the easy route of bombs and bloodshed. And one man—ONE FUCKING MAN—decided his hurt feelings were more important than global peace.
The Iranian nuclear deal represented everything Donny McCrappants couldn't understand or appreciate: nuance, patience, long-term thinking, and the radical idea that former enemies could become partners. His brain, pickled in decades of grievance and marinaded in pure spite, simply couldn't process the concept that Obama had achieved something genuinely historic.
The Psychological Autopsy of a Deal's Death
Let me take you inside that rancid mind for a moment—though I recommend holding your breath because the stench of ego and inadequacy is overwhelming. Picture Donald McStinkface sitting in the Oval Office, his tiny fingers drumming against the Resolute Desk as advisors explained why maintaining the Iran deal was crucial for global stability.
But he wasn't listening to the words about uranium enrichment or international inspections. All he could hear was the echo of laughter from that 2011 White House Correspondents' Dinner, when Obama roasted him so thoroughly that his ego never recovered. Every mention of the Iran deal was another reminder that the man he despised had achieved something he never could: actual, meaningful diplomacy.
The sensory details of that withdrawal are seared into my memory like a brand. The scratch of his pen signing the withdrawal papers, the bitter taste of international condemnation, the sulfurous smell of burning bridges with our closest allies. European leaders pleaded, begged, and bargained, but Turdburg Trump had already made up his mind. This wasn't about Iran's nuclear program—this was about erasing Obama's legacy, consequences be damned.
The Domino Effect of Destruction
Watch the dominoes fall in slow motion, each one crashing with the sound of inevitability:
Domino One: Trumpy McButtface withdraws from the deal, ignoring every expert, ally, and rational human being on the planet. The sound? Like glass shattering in a cathedral.
Domino Two: Iran, now fucked over by American duplicity, has no choice but to resume uranium enrichment. They'd kept their end of the bargain, only to watch America shit all over it. The taste of betrayal must have been bitter as wormwood on their tongues.
Domino Three: Israel, watching their regional rival inch closer to nuclear capability, begins planning preemptive strikes. The metallic taste of fear fills the air from Tel Aviv to Tehran.
Domino Four: Regional tensions explode like a powder keg, with proxy wars spreading like wildfire across the Middle East. The acrid smoke of burning diplomacy chokes the airways.
Domino Five: We stand today on the precipice of a conflict that could engulf the world, all because one narcissistic asshole couldn't handle the fact that someone else had achieved greatness.
The psychological implications of this cascade are staggering. Donald PoopTrump didn't just destroy a diplomatic agreement—he obliterated the very concept that international cooperation was possible. He took humanity's greatest achievement in nuclear non-proliferation and pissed all over it like a drunk fratboy at a wedding.
The Philosophy of Regret
There's a philosophical concept called "moral injury"—the psychological wound that occurs when we witness or participate in acts that violate our deepest values and beliefs. That's what I feel every time I think about the Iran deal's destruction: a spiritual laceration that won't heal.
We had it, goddammit. We had fucking peace in our hands. Not perfect peace, not permanent peace, but real, tangible progress toward a world where nuclear weapons didn't hang over our heads like the sword of Damocles. And Donaldo Shitspitter threw it all away for the most pathetic reason imaginable: his feelings were hurt.
The existential weight of this betrayal is crushing. If we can't trust America to honor its commitments, if our word is worth less than toilet paper in a hurricane, then what hope does diplomacy have? How do you negotiate with a country that changes its mind based on which narcissist happens to occupy the White House?
The Sensory Horror of Our Current Reality
Close your eyes and taste the bitter ash of what we've lost. Feel the weight of uranium spinning in centrifuges, the heat of rockets crossing borders, the cold steel of weapons being loaded for a war that didn't have to happen. Smell the smoke rising from cities that could have remained peaceful, hear the screams of children who will pay the price for one man's wounded pride.
This is the world Trump McShitface has given us: a reality where the reasonable voices are drowned out by the drumbeats of war, where patience and diplomacy are seen as weakness, where the only solution to every problem is more violence and more suffering.
The psychological analysis here is clear as crystal and twice as sharp: we're dealing with the consequences of malignant narcissism on a global scale. When a personality disordered individual gains power, their personal pathology becomes everyone else's problem. Their inability to process criticism, their need to destroy anything they didn't create, their complete lack of empathy—these aren't just character flaws anymore. They're weapons of mass destruction.
The Price of Ego
Every expert warned him. Every ally begged him to reconsider. Every rational analysis showed that the Iran deal was working exactly as intended. But Donny McStinker couldn't see past his own reflection in the funhouse mirror of his mind.
The philosophy of destruction is simple: if I can't be remembered as a builder, then I'll be remembered as the one who tore it all down. If I can't create something beautiful, then I'll make damn sure nothing beautiful survives. It's the mindset of a toddler with nuclear codes, a man so fundamentally broken that he'd rather watch the world burn than admit someone else succeeded where he failed.
The Taste of Tomorrow
So here we fucking are, standing on the edge of an abyss that didn't have to exist, staring into a future that's darker than it needed to be, all because one pathetic excuse for a human being couldn't handle being the butt of a joke.
The Iran nuclear deal wasn't just a piece of paper—it was proof that humanity could choose wisdom over warfare, that we could step back from the brink when it mattered most. And Donald McDumpface took that hope and strangled it with his tiny, rage-filled hands.
Every bomb that falls, every life that's lost, every step we take toward global catastrophe can be traced back to that moment in 2018 when ego triumphed over everything else. The blood is on his hands, the guilt is on his conscience (if he has one), and the responsibility is his alone.
We had peace, and he chose war. We had hope, and he chose hatred. We had a future, and he chose to burn it all down for the sake of his precious fucking feelings.
That's the real tragedy here—not just what we lost, but what we could have had if we'd kept one narcissistic man-child away from the levers of power. The Iran deal wasn't perfect, but it was progress. And progress, as we've learned the hard way, is a fragile thing that can be shattered by the tantrum of a single, pathologically damaged human being.
I was watching that Correspondents dinner live in 2011 and when I saw the camera cut away to the seething T💩p, I had a premonition that ‘something wicked this way comes.’ I had the same feeling when I’d heard that Bush the Lesser had been elected Governor of Texas, and I remember quite clearly saying out loud to myself “God help us when he becomes president.”
Too bad I don’t have premonitions about lotteries or PowerBall … 😎
Trump is a symptom of a wider problem. US hegemony must end. Recall Harris’ convention speech when she committed to making the US the “most lethal” army in the world. We were screwed either way.