Trump's Pathetic Tariff Retreat: They Are On, They Are Off, They Are On, They Are Off, NothingBurger (Just Like Trump Having Sex)

Let's cut the bullshit right now. What we're witnessing is nothing short of a spectacular government meltdown, orchestrated by a billionaire tech bro with zero public service experience and a former president who can't decide if he wants to be a strongman or a mediator. The so-called Department of Government Efficiency—DOGE, because apparently we're running the federal government based on fucking meme culture now—is quickly becoming the most chaotic experiment in modern American governance. And Trump, the supposed strongman, is already backing down.

The "Scalpel Not Hatchet" Backpedal

Remember when Trump promised to burn it all down? To drain the swamp? To upend Washington as we know it? Well, apparently that commitment lasted all of two goddamn months. Now we're suddenly hearing about how Cabinet secretaries should use a "scalpel" rather than a "hatchet." This is political speak for "holy shit, we didn't realize how complicated government actually is."