Voices of a Diverse America: May 5th, 2025

Here the fuck we go again

Trump's Papal Mockery Ignites Religious Shitstorm

Trump just pissed off the entire Catholic world by posting an AI-generated image of himself dressed as the goddamn Pope! This blasphemous bullshit shows him in the full papal getup—white cassock, gold cross, and the iconic mitre hat—right after attending Pope Francis's actual funeral.

Cardinal Timothy Dolan of New York, usually friendly with Trump, said this crap "wasn't good" while hoping Trump "didn't have anything to do with" the image. Other Catholic leaders are absolutely fucking stark raving furious, with the New York State Catholic Conference blasting: "There is nothing clever or funny about this image."

Bishop Paprocki went nuclear, declaring Trump "mocks God, the Catholic Church, and the Papacy" with this "deeply offensive" stunt—especially as Catholics mourn Pope Francis and prepare for the papal conclave.

Trump's own bizarre-ass comment last week? "I'd like to be pope. That would be my number one choice." Jesus H Christ. [NPR]

Musk and Trump's Political Bromance: Reveal - They Are Gay Lovers

Tesla CEO Elon Musk is balls-deep in Trump's administration as a senior adviser, claiming they agree on 80% of shit that comes out of each others mouths. Completing sentences? That sounds gay af, right? I mean it’s gay as fuck right? This came from his admission to Lara Trump on Fox. They're aligned on slashing government waste and enforcing laws, though Musk is scaling back his DOGE leadership to just 1-2 damn days weekly after May 30.

Trump's bragging they've found $150 billion in cuts, while Musk's ambitious ass wants $2 trillion eventually. His cutthroat efficiency has triggered layoffs across nearly half of all job losses in early 2025.

Their only real disagreement? Tariffs. Musk wants zero tariffs between US and Europe while Trump's protectionist as fuck asswaffle flails in the wind. So maybe the hot top (Musk) need to wrangle in that power bottom (Trump). [TheHill]

Great, Put a Nazi Into a Position of Power as National Security Advisor

Holy shit, Trump just confirmed Stephen Miller—his immigration pitbull—tops the shortlist for permanent national security adviser. "He's already fucking doing the job indirectly," Trump basically told NewsNation while flying on Air Force One.

Miller, the ruthless architect behind Trump's most controversial deportation crusades, would get a massive fucking power upgrade from his current deputy chief of staff role. This hardliner already showed his balls shutting down debate among top officials about Houthi strikes in a leaked Signal chat.

Trump's taking his sweet-ass time though, saying we might wait six goddamn months for the official pick, while Secretary Rubio temporarily holds the position after Waltz got reassigned to the UN ambassador slot. [TheHill]

I Hope You Don’t Need Your Medicaid

House Republicans are trying to pull some slick shit with Medicaid, pushing "per capita caps" to throttle federal funding while claiming it's not technically a "cut." What bullshit.

This devious plan would cap federal payments to expansion states, fundamentally transforming Medicaid from an open-ended entitlement to a strict-limits program. States would be left holding the fucking bag for all remaining costs.

The CBO estimates this would slash between $588-893 billion over nine years. Republican hawks need at least $880 billion to offset Trump's massive tax cuts.

Moderate Republicans are nervous as hell about the political fallout, remembering how they got their asses handed to them after trying similar shit in 2017.

Meanwhile, state leaders would face an impossible choice: cut benefits, slash provider payments, or raise taxes. It’s fucked either way. [TheHill]

Trump's Alcatraz Revival: He Does Know People Escaped From There Right?

Trump just dropped a bombshell announcing he's reopening the legendary Alcatraz Federal Penitentiary, shuttered for over 60 goddamn years. This isn't just reopening—it's a "substantially enlarged and rebuilt" version to warehouse America's "most ruthless and violent Offenders."

In his typical caps-heavy Truth Social rant, Trump blasted "vicious, violent, and repeat Criminal Offenders, the dregs of society" while reminiscing about when America was a "more serious Nation" that locked away dangerous criminals far from civilization.

The iconic island prison—former home to gangsters like Al Capone—closed in 1963 because it cost three times more than other federal prisons to operate, with millions needed just for maintenance. Now this tourist attraction will become Trump's symbolic middle finger to crime—a stone-cold monument to his "Law, Order, and JUSTICE" agenda. [TheHill]

Trump's Greenland Military Takeover: Charge Up That Hill

In a jaw-dropping "Meet the Press" interview, Trump refused to take military force off the table to seize Greenland, claiming "We need that for national and international security."

While saying it's "highly unlikely," Trump made his position crystal clear: "I don't rule it out. I don't say I'm going to do it, but I don't rule out anything." The president bizarrely promised to "cherish" Greenland's small population while commandeering their territory.

At least our northern neighbors can breathe a fucking sigh of relief—Trump "just doesn't see" using military force against Canada, though he's previously floated making them the 51st state.

These batshit threats apparently helped Prime Minister Mark Carney win Canada's recent election, as he's been pushing back against Trump's bullshit. [TheHill]