Voices of a Diverse America: May 6th, 2025
Shit Donald Trump Fucking Says
Donald Trump: “The Economy is Fucked, Buy Less Shit”
Donny McShitface is pulling a complete 180 on his economic promises. After campaigning on lowering prices, this gold-plated hypocrite is now telling Americans they should buy less "junk" while his tariff clusterfuck sends markets into chaos. "You don't need 30 dolls, just have three!" says the man with gold-plated toilets and a fucking penthouse.
The economic aftershocks are brutal—stock markets trembling, recession warnings flashing, and 89% of Americans know these tariffs will jack up prices. Even Republican allies are squirming as Trump casually shrugs about a potential recession: "Yeah, everything's OK. This is a transition period." A transition to what? Economic apocalypse?
This tone-deaf bullshit reeks of elitism while he hammers working Americans who can't afford his "buy less" philosophy. His messaging stinks worse than a summer dumpster—promising wealth while delivering economic diarrhea. [TheHill]
Donald Trump: “If You Self-Deport Now, Ill Pay You Money”
Holy fucking shit, Donald McStinkface is bribing migrants with taxpayer money now? A goddamn thousand bucks to self-deport through some half-assed app after terrorizing them with deportation threats. Meanwhile, this administration is actually negotiating with Rwanda to take our prisoners—because nothing says "American values" like shipping humans to foreign prisons like fucking cargo.
The economic nightmare continues as Senate Republicans piss themselves over Turdbucket Trump's casual "recession is OK" bullshit while farmers watch their livelihoods crumble under his tariff shitstorm. Iowa's soybean and corn farmers are absolutely fucked, but hey, Treasury Secretary Bessent is telling business leaders to ignore the obvious economic dumpster fire.
And the education fuckery? The Dumping Donald is waging war on Harvard's tax status while McMahon cuts off research grants. Meanwhile, Pete "Signal-happy" Hegseth is running defense communications like a paranoid teenager hiding texts from his parents. [TheHill]
Donald Trump: “Brian Kemp is a Pussy Anyway, Fuck Him”
the GOP Senate nightmare just got worse with Brian Kemp telling Republicans to eat shit on their Georgia recruiting dreams. The coward's saving his pristine electoral record for a 2028 presidential run while Senate Republicans frantically clutch their three-seat majority like it's the last life jacket on the Titanic.
Without Kemp's golden-boy appeal, they're now staring at the horrifying prospect of Marjorie Taylor Greene's batshit candidacy against Democrat Jon Ossoff. And that's just the start of their goddamn midterm horror show.
While Republicans desperately cling to power with JD Vance's tie-breaking vote, they're watching their chances circle the drain in Texas where Ken Paxton—a corrupt MAGA saint who survived impeachment—is gaining on John Cornyn. Add Susan Collins and Thom Tillis facing brutal challenges in Maine and North Carolina, and Bill Cassidy's impending primary bloodbath in Louisiana.
The midterm curse is coming for these fuckers with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, and they know it. [TheHill]
Donald Trump: “This is a transition period. I think we’re going to do fantastically. In a Recession.“
Holy fuck, the Republican Senate is shitting bricks while Donaldo Fartfisted casually mentions "permanent tariffs" and shrugs off a goddamn recession like it's a fucking hangnail. These spineless GOP toadies are watching their economic credibility circle the drain as Wall Street convulses and consumers panic
."There's a lot of uneasiness," whimpers Senator Capito, master of the fucking obvious, while admitting Americans "don't have a lot of tolerance for pain." No shit, Sherlock—especially when that pain is self-inflicted by a narcissistic economic wrecking ball who's slapped 145% tariffs on China and threatened everyone else.
Meanwhile, Treasury Secretary Bessent is desperately trying to convince the wealthy elite this isn't a complete clusterfuck by promising "more jobs, more homes, more growth" like a coked-up prosperity preacher. Senate Republicans are begging for ANY good news to quell consumer panic while Donald McStinkface sits back and calls this hellscape a "transition period."
Transition to what? Economic fucking Armageddon? [TheHill]
Donald Trump: “Judges Are Stupid, I’m The King”
So, another Republican election challenge just got ass-smacked down like the pathetic power grab it is. Federal Judge Myers just told the North Carolina Board of Elections to certify their Supreme Court race, effectively telling Republican Judge Jefferson Griffin to sit the fuck down and accept Democratic Justice Allison Riggs's victory.
In a blistering 68-page "fuck you" ruling, Myers called Griffin's challenge "an attempt to change the rules of the game after it had been played." The judge wasn't having any of that anti-democratic bullshit, especially when it targeted overseas military ballots that Griffin desperately tried to invalidate in his sad attempt to steal the election.
The state Supreme Court had already ruled 4-2 that ballots with missing information were still valid, but Griffin kept fighting like a toddler who dropped his ice cream cone. Riggs celebrated her victory with a simple "Today, we won" tweet, while Griffin's seven-day appeal window ticks away like a time bomb on his political career. [TheHill]
Donald Trump: “Ok Canada, I’m Going To Ass Slap You and Make You My State Bitch.”
The Don of Dung is meeting with new Canadian PM Mark Carney after threatening to make Canada the "51st state" like some deranged real estate developer eyeing his neighbor's property. This diplomatic shitstorm comes right after slapping a brutal 25% tariff on Canadian goods that's strangling their economy.
Carney didn't mince words: "Trump is trying to break us so America can own us. That will never, ever happen." Meanwhile, Turdbucket Trump casually floated using "economic force" to annex an entire sovereign fucking nation while telling NBC it was "highly unlikely" he'd use military force—how goddamn generous.
The irony is thick enough to choke on: Trump's threats about annexation actually helped Carney's Liberal Party win after they were trailing in polls. Cornell professor Jon Parmenter called it "shocking" how Trump has decimated U.S.-Canada relations, while Carney's "elbows up" hockey-defense campaign stance resonated with Canadians who are "really upset" at our wannabe land-grabbing president.
I honestly hope that Mark Carney, bitch slaps Trump back and tells him, “No, NOW YOU ARE GONNA BE MY BITCH!!!”
[NPR]
Donald Trump: “What is the US Constitution Again? I Can Ignore It”
Donaldo Shitsburger just said "I don't know" when asked if he needs to uphold the Constitution—the same sacred document he swore to "preserve, protect and defend" in his oath of office. This constitutional dumpster fire unfolded on Meet the Press while he called undocumented immigrants "some of the worst people on Earth" and whined that courts were stopping his mass deportation fantasy.
News flash, dickhead: The presidential oath is constitutionally required in Article II, Section 1, making upholding the Constitution his PRIMARY FUCKING JOB, not an optional activity. Yet this constitutional illiterate defended himself with "I have brilliant lawyers that work for me" before bizarrely suggesting a "different interpretation" exists.
This same constitutional genius also entertained using military force on Greenland because "we need Greenland very badly," talked about annexing Canada, and claimed his critics will "be very happy" when dismissing concerns about authoritarianism—all while the economy contracted 0.3% last quarter as his tariff shitshow tanks markets worldwide. But hey, "everything's OK" because "this is a transition period."
Transition to fucking what? A post-constitutional America?
By the way, here is a LINK to the US Constitution, for those who haven’t read over it, so that you can understand why Trump is a colossal dickhead who should choke on a pair of balls.
[NPR]
Donald Trump: “Only The Best People, Can Use Words Like That to Describe Other People Who Aren’t The Best People”
Jesus fucking Christ, we've reached peak MAGA absurdity: a white woman in Minnesota who was caught ON TAPE admitting she called a 5-year-old Black AUTISTIC CHILD the N-word has been rewarded with over $670,000 in conservative donations! This racist shitshow involves a Somali child with autism who supposedly "took my son's stuff" – apparently worthy of racial slurs according to this bigoted nightmare who's now aiming for a cool million dollars on GiveSendGo.
This disgusting cash grab follows the same playbook that turned insurrection lawyer John Eastman, immigrant-killing Arizona rancher George Alan Kelly, and subway killer Daniel Penny into right-wing martyrs with overflowing bank accounts. Meanwhile, Rochester police have forwarded their investigation to city attorneys for possible charges – not that it matters with her newfound racist retirement fund.
The conservative victimhood industrial complex is working overtime, transforming admitted bigots into celebrated heroes faster than you can say "economic anxiety." This pathetic display reveals the moral bankruptcy of a movement that rewards the worst behavior imaginable with life-changing cash while an autistic child and his Somali family face the trauma of public racist abuse.
In Minnesota of all states. Honestly. Why. In. The. Fuck?
[MSNBC]