Weekend Overhaul: Beverley Hills Trump 6

Trump: Elementary School Kids Are Stupid

The Education Department under Donny McStinker is demanding K-12 schools certify they're free of DEI programs or risk losing federal funding. Blue states like Minnesota are telling them to fuck off while red states are falling in line like obedient lapdogs. Schools with high minority populations are caught in a hellish limbo - "everything we do is DEI," confessed one Native American school principal.

Many districts are stuck waiting, hoping this shit-storm passes or gets blocked in court. The administration's vague definition of "harmful DEI" leaves educators sweating bullets, with some desperately hoping to "fly under the radar" - a strategy that's about as reliable as a paper condom.

The Southern Border: It’s Mine. You Cant Have It

Donny McDumpTrump just fucking seized control of border land for the military on Friday night, claiming America's "under attack" to justify this power grab. The order hands Pete Hegseth sweeping authority to build walls and do whatever the hell they deem "reasonably necessary" on this land.

The bullshit reeks of fascist overreach, especially since Kristi Noem just bragged about record-low border crossings two months running. This dictatorial shit-show started day one with his "national emergency" declaration, despite March data showing illegal crossings plummeted to 25-year lows. The actual threat isn't at our border—it's sitting in the goddamn Oval Office.

Coal Mining is Not Safe, Just Ask Kimberly Thomas

While Donny McDumpTrump paraded "beautiful clean coal" bullshit at the White House with industry execs from Core Natural Resources in attendance, Kimberly Thomas was fighting for her fucking life—burned over 20% of her body when methane from Core's mine exploded in her West Virginia home. This goddamn tragedy follows years of ignored warnings about deadly methane leaks. Massive cracks hundreds of feet long opened on the Thomas property after longwall mining destroyed the ground beneath their home. Core knew the dangers but didn't do shit until after blood was spilled. The sick irony? As Thomas suffered, Trump was literally calling coal "beautiful" while surrounded by the very bastards responsible.

Well, Hold On: Phones And Computers Should Not Get Tariffed

Donaldo Shitsburger's administration just carved out a special fucking exemption for electronics in his trade war clusterfuck, sparing phones, computers and chips from his batshit "reciprocal" tariffs. This isn't about helping your wallet—it's about keeping Apple and tech giants happy while they continue manufacturing in China. The rest of the economy can go to hell with the 125% tariff shitstorm he's unleashed on Chinese goods, sparking predictable retaliation from Beijing. Now this two-faced asshole claims he'll make nice with Xi, despite actively torpedoing relations between the world's largest economies. Meanwhile, consumers are left holding their breath, wondering when this economic Russian roulette ends.

Trump: HIV Kills, Just Not Americans

Dr. Ruth Madievsky is watching Donaldo Fartfisted's administration brutally fuck over HIV patients in real time. This two-faced bastard who once promised to eradicate HIV by 2030 is now abandoning vulnerable Americans to suffer and die. Her patients are terrified—one man begged for anonymous PrEP treatment, paranoid that government paper trails could mark him for persecution. Meanwhile, transmission rates are skyrocketing among transgender women and gay men of color. Healthcare providers are left to pick up the bloody pieces while this administration gleefully dismantles decades of progress. The message is clear: marginalized lives don't mean shit to Trump's regime, which seems hellbent on returning to the AIDS crisis death tolls of the '80s.

Project Esther

The Heritage Foundation's "Project Esther" is a bullshit smokescreen exploiting Jewish suffering to push Donny McDumpTrump's fascist agenda. These Christian nationalist fuckers pretend to care about antisemitism while deporting Palestinian students without due process and destroying academic freedom. Their patronizing 900-page manifesto paints Jews as helpless victims needing white Christian saviors—which is antisemitic as hell. By targeting only "antisemitism" while dismantling DEI, ethnic studies, and women's studies, these bastards aren't protecting Jews; they're using us as political pawns in their war against free speech. This isn't about protecting anyone—it's about installing a theocratic dictatorship while the Constitution burns.

Housing Crisis Gets Worse Under Donaldo Shitsburger's "Leadership"

While Trumpy McButtface returns to office claiming he'll fix America's housing crisis, his actions tell a different fucking story. This administration is a circus of contradictions and empty promises:

• Donny McStinker signed an "emergency price relief" order on day one, then promptly ignored housing in his March address to Congress

• Gutted the Affirmatively Furthering Fair Housing rule, essentially telling marginalized communities to go fuck themselves

• Appointed Scott Turner, an ex-NFL player with minimal housing experience, to run HUD – because qualifications don't matter in this shitshow

• DOGE Task Force slashing HUD workforce while homelessness reaches record levels (770,000+ people homeless in 2024)

• Mass deportations decimating the construction workforce, with undocumented immigrants making up 15% of construction workers

• Tariff clusterfuck driving up costs of building materials like cement, lumber and steel

Turner and the administration frame this catastrophe as an "opportunity" while Americans can't afford homes and interest rates strangle buyers. Meanwhile, pending home sales hit record lows as the administration focuses on building walls instead of houses.

The message is clear: regular Americans can go pound sand while the housing crisis spirals further out of control.

Farty Donaldo Throws Tantrum Over "60 Minutes": Fuck The First Admendment

The Dumping Donald is having another shit-flinging meltdown, this time targeting CBS for daring to broadcast reality that doesn't kiss his bloated ego. The orange crybaby is demanding CBS lose its broadcast license because "60 Minutes" aired segments about Ukraine and Greenland that didn't worship at his altar of delusion.

• Donny McDumpstain rage-posted on Truth Social after "60 Minutes" aired TWO whole segments mentioning his name

• Claims the Ukraine war "would never have happened" if the 2020 election wasn't "RIGGED" – his favorite broken fucking record

• Already suing CBS News for $20 billion over a Kamala Harris interview he claims was "deceptively edited"

• Lost his mind because Zelensky invited him to actually see Ukraine's devastation before running his mouth

• Greenland segment featured local leaders disgusted by Trump talking about their homeland "like it was a toy"

• Demanded the FCC strip CBS's license and impose "maximum fines" for having the audacity to report reality

Paramount called his lawsuit "an affront to the First Amendment" with zero basis in law or fact. Meanwhile, Turdalump Trump proves once again that nothing triggers his rage quite like journalism that doesn't treat him like the second coming of Jesus.

In a functioning democracy, we'd laugh this pathetic tantrum off, but America's wannabe dictator now has the power to potentially make these threats real.

Citations

1. Cochran, L. 2025 “K-12 schools face major Trump test on DEI demand” The Hill

2. Frazier, K. 2025 “Trump authorizes military to take control of public land along souther border” CBS News

3. Bruggers, J. 2025 “As Trump Promotes ‘Clean Beautiful Coal,’ a Lit Cigarette Above a West Virginia Coal Mine Leaves a Woman Fighting for Her Life” Inside Climate News

4. Samuels B. 2025 “Trump exempts phones, computers, other electronics from reciprocal tariffs” The Hill

5. Sprayregen, M. 2025 “Pharmacist urges health care providers to increase PrEP perscriptions as Trump slashes HIV funding” LGBTQ Nation

6. Blumenfeld, W. 2025 “Donald Trump wants you to believe he cares about Jews. He doesn’t.” LGBTQ Nation

7. Meuller, J. 2025 “Trump has vowed to bring down housing costs. What is his administration doing?” The Hill

8. Fortinsky, S. 2025 “Trump says CBS should lose license after ’60 Minutes’ segments on Ukraine, Greenland” The Hill