Wendy's Healing Compendium 69.42: Ancient AF Dinosaur Grass

Holy shit, buckle up because we're about to learn about a plant that's been around since dinosaurs were stomping around like they owned the place. This prehistoric badass —Horsetail (Equisetum arvense) — is basically living history that'll make your hair and nails fabulous.

Identifying This Time Traveler

Look for two different types of stems because this funky bastard likes to switch it up:

• Spring stems: Pale brown, looks like asparagus having an identity crisis

• Summer stems: Green, branched like a Christmas tree got high and forgot how to tree Both types have joints that make them look like mini bamboo. The whole plant feels rough as sandpaper because it's loaded with silica - nature's own glass.

Cultivation (If You Dare)

Here's the thing - this persistent little shit might be TOO easy to grow. It's like the party guest that never leaves. Needs wet, acidic soil and will spread faster than gossip in a small town. For the love of god, plant it in containers unless you want it taking over your whole damn yard.

Growing Your Own Ancient Wonder

• Best way: Don't. Buy it from someone who already regrets growing it.

• If you must: Plant pieces of rhizome in spring

• Where: Partial shade to full sun, wet spots

• Warning: Once it moves in, it's harder to evict than a deadbeat roommate

Usage (Getting That Good Shit)

Harvest the green summer stems when they're fully grown but still perky. Cut those suckers a few inches above ground level. Dry them quick or they'll turn black and useless.