When Gatekeeping and Controversy Tear Us Apart: A Look at Harmful Narratives in the LGBTQIA+ Community

And how Wendy was attacked by someone trying to push that narrative

Jan 09, 2025

The LGBTQIA+ community is supposed to be a haven—a coalition of people standing together against a world that often marginalizes us. But every now and then, instead of working together, some individuals weaponize their platforms to create division. Whether it’s driven by personal agendas, unresolved trauma, or a need for attention, this behavior does nothing but harm the community as a whole.

Case in point: the kind of rhetoric we’re examining here, where someone—who identifies as transgender themselves—uses bad-faith arguments and inflammatory tactics to attack me in an active thread on Bluesky, spin their own narrative, and stir up controversy. In this case, it seems the person is more focused on generating conflict-driven content for their own streaming than fostering any meaningful dialogue.

Let’s break down their narrative, look at why it’s harmful, and examine the larger issues this behavior highlights in the LGBTQIA+ community.

What Was Said, and Why It’s a Problem

Let’s start by taking a closer look at some of the statements in question:

My original reply to them, regarding their own lack of ability and fatalism, caused me to comment in my attempt to help them get direction: “The mother expects all of us Druids to help where and when and how we can. However, you can lead the horse to the lake, but you cant make the horse drink. And I think that a certain amount of internal belief in ones own self is required, as is self awareness.”

To which their vitriolic nature turned straight on…..

“This is from someone who is claiming to be trans. She might be lying.”

First of all, what kind of nonsense is this? Questioning another trans person’s identity is not just harmful—it’s hypocritical as hell coming from someone who claims to be part of the trans community. It reeks of gatekeeping, as if they’ve appointed themselves the arbiter of who is “real” or “valid.” Spoiler alert: no one has that authority.

“All this talk of ‘mothers’ and ‘druids’ is from feminism.”

This is just plain absurd. Associating someone’s personal beliefs, like druidism, with feminism doesn’t invalidate their trans identity. It’s a strawman argument designed to make the person they’re targeting look out of place or inauthentic, which is ironic given the accuser’s own trans identity.

“Fuck feminism.”

Ah, the classic anti-feminist battle cry. While there’s legitimate critique to be made about some feminist movements’ exclusion of trans people (cough TERFs cough), blanket statements like this don’t foster understanding—they just sow discord. This statement tries to pit trans people against feminists, ignoring the fact that many of us are both trans and feminist, and that feminism has often been a vital ally in queer liberation.

“You’re the ones terrified of losing your status as the most privileged people on earth.”

This statement reflects a persecution complex. It falsely positions the speaker as a victim of systemic privilege within the LGBTQIA+ community—privilege that supposedly comes at their expense. It’s an unproductive and divisive narrative that distracts from real issues like systemic discrimination and violence.

When Content Creation Fuels Conflict

Here’s the kicker: this isn’t just someone venting their frustrations. It’s part of a larger pattern of behavior designed to stir up controversy for personal gain. The individual in question appears to be trolling for content to fuel their other streams, where conflict and drama drive viewership.

The Harm in Controversy-Driven Content

While it’s fine to use personal experiences as content, there’s a massive difference between constructive dialogue and outright provocation. By intentionally targeting others, misrepresenting their intentions, and creating drama, this individual isn’t just airing their grievances—they’re actively harming the community they claim to be part of.

The Persecution Complex

It’s worth noting that this behavior might stem from an unresolved mental health issue, such as a persecution complex. This condition often involves an exaggerated sense of being targeted or oppressed, leading to constant conflict-seeking behavior. While empathy is important, online interactions are unlikely to help someone who thrives on conflict—it’s bad for their brand if their targets respond with kindness or concern.

This Isn’t New: A History of Harmful Narratives

This kind of divisive behavior isn’t a new phenomenon. Let’s look at some similar patterns from LGBTQIA+ history:

1. The Lesbian-Trans Divide

For decades, TERFs (trans-exclusionary radical feminists) have claimed that trans women are “invading” lesbian spaces. The parallels here are obvious: questioning someone’s authenticity, creating false divides, and positioning oneself as the true victim of systemic privilege.

2. Bisexual Erasure

Bisexual people have long been accused of being “fake” or “indecisive” by both straight and gay communities. It’s the same gatekeeping bullshit: “You’re not really part of this community because you don’t meet my criteria.”

3. Tokenism in Queer History

Queer people of color, particularly Black trans women, have often been erased or sidelined in LGBTQIA+ movements despite their critical contributions. This mirrors the way some individuals try to rewrite the narrative to center themselves while marginalizing others.

Why These Narratives Are Harmful

1. They Divide the Community

Instead of building solidarity, these narratives create fractures. By questioning others’ legitimacy or pitting groups against each other, they weaken the very community they claim to represent.

2. They Distract from Real Issues

Instead of focusing on systemic oppression, violence, and discrimination, energy gets wasted on petty in-fighting. This serves no one but our oppressors.

3. They Perpetuate Harm

When someone within the LGBTQIA+ community parrots exclusionary rhetoric, they legitimize the same arguments used by bigots. It’s like handing a hammer to someone who wants to tear us down.

Invalidating the Claims

Now, let’s dismantle these arguments one by one:

“She might not even be lying.”

The audacity. No one has the right to question another person’s trans identity. If you wouldn’t want someone questioning your own identity, don’t fucking do it to others.

“Talk of mothers and druids is from feminism.”

Even if it is, so what? Being a feminist or practicing druidism has nothing to do with being trans. People are allowed to have complex, multifaceted identities. This isn’t a “gotcha” moment—it’s a desperate grasp for straws.

“Fuck feminism.”

This statement completely ignores the contributions of intersectional feminism to queer liberation. Feminists have fought for workplace protections, healthcare access, and other rights that directly benefit trans people.

“You’re the ones terrified of losing your status as the most privileged people on earth.”

This isn’t just wrong—it’s laughable. Trans people, feminists, and other marginalized groups face systemic oppression, not privilege. Claiming otherwise is pure projection.

The Bigger Picture

This behavior highlights a larger issue in the LGBTQIA+ community: the temptation to tear each other down instead of building each other up. Whether it’s gatekeeping, trolling for content, or feeding into personal grievances, these narratives do nothing but harm.

What We Can Do

Call Out the Bullshit: Don’t let harmful narratives go unchallenged. Speak up when someone weaponizes their identity to attack others.
Respond with Kindness (When Possible): Sometimes, responding with empathy can defuse conflict. But if it’s clear they’re trolling for content, it’s okay to disengage.
Focus on Solidarity: Remember that we’re stronger together. Divisions only serve those who want to see us fail.
Encourage Mental Health Support: If someone’s behavior suggests unresolved mental health issues, encourage them to seek help—but recognize your own limits.

Conclusion: Unity Over Division

The LGBTQIA+ community is at its strongest when we stand together. We’ve faced too much from the outside world to waste energy fighting each other. To those pushing divisive narratives for personal gain: Get over yourselves. We have bigger battles to fight.

Citations

Stryker, Susan. Transgender History. Seal Press, 2017.
"TERF Rhetoric and Its Harm to Trans Communities." The Advocate, 2022.
"Gatekeeping and Division in LGBTQIA+ Spaces." The Atlantic, 2021.
"The Role of Intersectional Feminism in Queer Liberation." The Washington Post, 2023.
"Mental Health in Content Creation: When Drama Becomes Harmful." Vice, 2022.
Johnson, Marsha P. "Stonewall and the Fight for Queer Liberation." OutHistory.org, 2020.
Rivera, Sylvia. "Trans Rights and Community Unity." Queer Nation Zine Archive, 1995.