Young Republicans Are ShitBags: The Telegram Chat Scandal

The stench of fascism has been wafting from the Republican Party for years now, but this week it became a full-blown shitstorm when thousands of text messages from a Young Republicans group chat leaked, revealing what we've all suspected: these fucknozzles aren't just flirting with fascism—they're taking it out for dinner, buying it flowers, and writing it love letters that would make Heinrich Himmler blush.

Let me paint you a picture that'll make your skin crawl worse than watching maggots feast on roadkill. Peter Giunta, one of these Young Republican "leaders," actually typed with his own dumbfuck fingers: "I love Hitler." That's not subtext. That's not dog-whistling. That's a grown-ass man in 2025 declaring his love for the architect of the Holocaust like he's confessing a crush at summer camp.

As Bertrand Russell once said, "The fundamental cause of trouble in the world today is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt." Well, these dickwads are so cocksure they're literally sending Valentine's cards to dead genocidal maniacs.

The smell of their bullshit carries through 28,000 messages—that's not a typo, that's twenty-eight thousand instances of these assbags showing their true colors. And speaking of showing true colors, an American flag with a swastika was literally discovered in a Republican congressman's office yesterday. Yesterday! The irony tastes bitter, like chewing on aluminum foil while your teeth are being drilled.

Alex Dwyer, another member of this shitshow circus, contributed his own special brand of fuckwittery to the chat. Then there's Joe Maligno—and I shit you not, that's his actual name—who asked, "Can we fix the showers? The chambers don't fit the H aesthetic." The sound of that message hitting the group chat must have been like nails on a chalkboard mixed with the screams of history repeating itself.

Here's what kills me about these fucknozzles: they're exactly what you'd expect. William Hendrix, dropping racial slurs like he's trying to win some twisted game of racist bingo. Samuel Douglas, spewing anti-Semitic garbage that would make a sewer rat puke. Bobby Walker, whose congressional campaign dreams are now deader than Donny Dingleberry's chances of winning a spelling bee.

As Jean-Paul Sartre observed, "Hell is other people"—and these shitheads are proving him right one text message at a time.

The texture of their mediocrity is palpable—you can practically feel it through your screen, sticky and desperate like old gum on a hot sidewalk. Luke Mosiman, another participant in this fuckfest of fascism, represents the archetype perfectly: mediocre white dudes who've accomplished jack shit in life except learning how to hate.

And then there's Anne Katy, asking "when do we bring that side out" while referencing throwing people in chambers. The casual nature of it makes your stomach turn, like watching someone eat a sandwich while discussing mass murder. The taste of bile rises in your throat when you realize these aren't edgy teenagers trying to shock—these are political operatives working within the Republican establishment.

Let's be fucking clear about something: this isn't an anomaly. This is the natural progression of a party that's been douchewad-adjacent for decades. When Trumpty MouthAnus normalized calling Mexicans rapists, when he told the Proud Boys to "stand back and stand by," when Republican after Republican refused to condemn actual fucking Nazis marching in Charlottesville—this is what you get.

John Stuart Mill wrote, "Bad men need nothing more to compass their ends, than that good men should look on and do nothing." Well, the GOP has been looking on and doing fuck-all while their youth wing transformed into Hitler Youth 2.0.

The sound of their denials now rings hollow, like a bell made of bullshit. "We had no idea!" they'll claim, while the evidence piles up like corpses at Auschwitz. Mike Rilley, the New York Assembly Member who employed Peter Giunta, suddenly discovered his moral compass only after the texts went public. How fucking convenient.

These aren't isolated incidents—they're symptoms of a disease that's been festering in the Republican body politic like gangrene in a diabetic's foot. The party that claims to love America has members literally defacing American flags with swastikas. The cognitive dissonance would be hilarious if it wasn't so fucking terrifying.

Here's what really makes my ass itch: the consequences for these shitstains will likely be minimal. Sure, Peter Giunta lost his job with Mike Rilley. Bobby Walker won't get that congressional campaign gig. But you know what? They'll slither away, rebrand themselves, and pop up somewhere else in the conservative ecosystem like herpes at a frat party.

As Michel de Montaigne noted, "Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know." And Americans have this firm belief that Nazis can't happen here, even while they're literally happening here, right fucking now, in group chats and congressional offices.

The Republican establishment will engage in their typical fuckhead ballet of denial, deflection, and whataboutism. They'll claim these are just "a few bad apples" while ignoring that the entire orchard is rotting from the roots up. They'll pivot to talking about "cancel culture" and "free speech" as if expressing love for Hitler is just another valid political opinion, like preferring chocolate to vanilla ice cream.

The taste of their hypocrisy is overwhelming—like gargling with sewage while someone punches you in the throat. These are the same dickbags who want to ban books about slavery but think "Mein Kampf" should be required reading. They'll clutch their pearls about drag queens reading stories to kids while their youth leaders are planning the Fourth Reich in WhatsApp.

Let me spell this out for the dumbfucks in the back: when your political youth organization is indistinguishable from a neo-Nazi cell, you don't have a PR problem—you have a Nazi problem. And the GOP's response? They're treating it like someone got caught saying a naughty word instead of expressing desire to resurrect the Third fucking Reich.

Christopher Penczak once said, "The shadow cannot be eliminated. It is the ever-present dark brother or sister." But there's a difference between acknowledging darkness and inviting it to dinner, giving it a job, and letting it run your youth organizations.

The smell of fascism isn't just in the air—it's been crop-dusted across the entire Republican landscape. Every time Donald ShitEater opens his mouth, every time his supporters wave their Confederate flags, every time Young Republicans exchange Hitler valentines, we're watching democracy get skullfucked by authoritarianism.

These revelations should be setting off air raid sirens in every newsroom, every political office, every home in America. Instead, we're getting the usual bullshit response: tepid condemnations, strategic distancing, and by next week, everyone will have moved on to the next scandal while these Nazi-loving fuckwits continue operating in the shadows.

Here's the bottom line, you magnificent bastards: we have literal Nazi sympathizers operating within one of America's two major political parties, and the response has been as weak as Elon MicroTool's grasp on human empathy. This isn't a drill. This isn't hyperbole. This is 28,000 text messages worth of evidence that the Young Republicans have a Nazi problem, and by extension, so does the entire fucking GOP.

As Karl Popper warned, "Unlimited tolerance must lead to the disappearance of tolerance." We cannot tolerate the intolerant, especially when they're literally professing love for Hitler and discussing bringing back concentration camps.

The path forward is clear as fuck: these shitheads need to be expelled not just from their positions but from political life entirely. Every single person in that group chat should be radioactive. Their names should be synonymous with the disgrace they've brought upon themselves. Peter Giunta, Alex Dwyer, Joe Maligno, William Hendrix, Samuel Douglas, Bobby Walker, Luke Mosiman, Anne Katy—these names should be remembered as cautionary tales of what happens when you let fascism fester.

But more importantly, we need to acknowledge that this isn't just about a few bad actors. This is about a political movement that has created the perfect petri dish for Nazi ideology to grow. Until the Republican Party conducts a complete fucking exorcism of its fascist demons, this shit will keep happening.

The taste of freedom is sweet, but it turns to ash in your mouth when you realize how close we are to losing it. These Young Republican Nazis aren't an aberration—they're the logical conclusion of a party that has spent decades courting extremists, denying reality, and undermining democracy.

So the next time someone tells you you're being hyperbolic for calling out Republican fascism, show them these 28,000 receipts. Show them the swastika flag in the congressman's office. Show them Peter Giunta's love letter to Hitler. And then tell them to fuck right off with their both-sides bullshit.

Because if we don't stop this shit now, we'll wake up one day to find that the fucknozzles have won, and by then it'll be too fucking late.

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