The crimson walls of The Sanctuary seemed to pulse with the dying light filtering down from Murphy's Tavern above, casting everything in warm amber shadows that made the white ceiling look like scattered clouds at sunset.
That last quote pretty much sums up what I said to my husband the day I walked out. I said that I wished he had beaten the ever loving shit out of me because I would heal faster, and I’d have the proof.
I had the same wish Cynnova. If only my abuser would hit me I would have the proof. It was impossible to explain to others the verbal and emotional torture my ex heaped upon me without me even understanding at first what he was doing was abusive. It took me getting my own personal therapy (not marriage counseling because he used what he learned about me and turned it against me outside of therapy sessions) to learn what gaslighting was and what a narcissist and sociopath was.
Wondered about that. Sometimes, deep stuff is easier handled in 3rd than in 1st. The distance allows words to be said inside your head that you can't bear to say out loud. I assumed that this was one of those times.
Jian is going to need the Sanctuary in order to pull this renovation of her life off. I hope it will be there for her along with all the other mending souls.
I can remember hyper controlling my sons when I was with their father. He broke K’s nose. I high sticked the hell out of him with his beloved Colorado Avalanche Stanley Cup hockey stick.
Five or six years later he held K up by his neck against a wall, something he had done to me about five years earlier. I pummeled the hell out of him to get him to drop K, then begged K to run and get away. I stayed between them until my ex gave up and left (he was afraid to cross me). When ex was gone I asked why K didn’t run. He said he was afraid my ex would kill me if he got away.
Why didn’t I report it? I was the only one without bruises (ex complained about a concussion for a long time after). At best, they would take both of us and put boys in foster care. At worst, they would only take me, and leave the boys with the “battered” party. 😞
Yeah, Lisa, the Hobson's choice of many women in abusive relationships. Congratulations for escaping yours. I hope you and your sons have managed to heal the psychological wounds. I also hope that your ex's "concussion" lasts until the day he dies.
Thank you. Both boys are a little too willing to be taken from. I don’t know if they learned it from me or inherited it. Oldest one has been through the bad relationship before this one. That was a rough time. Abusers isolate you. He was talked into not talking to all of us about five years.
Well, I'm different than everyone else here. Never had a bad relationship like those described below, and my reaction was "dear Mrs. Chen." Oh well.
That last quote pretty much sums up what I said to my husband the day I walked out. I said that I wished he had beaten the ever loving shit out of me because I would heal faster, and I’d have the proof.
I had the same wish Cynnova. If only my abuser would hit me I would have the proof. It was impossible to explain to others the verbal and emotional torture my ex heaped upon me without me even understanding at first what he was doing was abusive. It took me getting my own personal therapy (not marriage counseling because he used what he learned about me and turned it against me outside of therapy sessions) to learn what gaslighting was and what a narcissist and sociopath was.
I fixed all the stupid 1st person 3rd person interchange issues.
so hit refresh when you read it.
Wondered about that. Sometimes, deep stuff is easier handled in 3rd than in 1st. The distance allows words to be said inside your head that you can't bear to say out loud. I assumed that this was one of those times.
Jian is going to need the Sanctuary in order to pull this renovation of her life off. I hope it will be there for her along with all the other mending souls.
I told you that you would not be disappointed.
It's very difficult to break mental conditioning. This story is repeated on countless homes around the country.
Around the world, Brandon.
I can remember hyper controlling my sons when I was with their father. He broke K’s nose. I high sticked the hell out of him with his beloved Colorado Avalanche Stanley Cup hockey stick.
Five or six years later he held K up by his neck against a wall, something he had done to me about five years earlier. I pummeled the hell out of him to get him to drop K, then begged K to run and get away. I stayed between them until my ex gave up and left (he was afraid to cross me). When ex was gone I asked why K didn’t run. He said he was afraid my ex would kill me if he got away.
Why didn’t I report it? I was the only one without bruises (ex complained about a concussion for a long time after). At best, they would take both of us and put boys in foster care. At worst, they would only take me, and leave the boys with the “battered” party. 😞
Yeah, Lisa, the Hobson's choice of many women in abusive relationships. Congratulations for escaping yours. I hope you and your sons have managed to heal the psychological wounds. I also hope that your ex's "concussion" lasts until the day he dies.
Yeah. Long convoluted journey. My son is 34 and a dad in a blended family with four kids. I am very proud of him.
You should be, you haz a good kid.
Thank you. Both boys are a little too willing to be taken from. I don’t know if they learned it from me or inherited it. Oldest one has been through the bad relationship before this one. That was a rough time. Abusers isolate you. He was talked into not talking to all of us about five years.
Agreed Sandra.